The Other Side of Masculinity

[Shahrukh Atpade]

Since I began discussing the topic of masculinity with men, I have been gaining new experiences. Today too, I had such an experience, which I felt like sharing with you.
Sangram is originally from Nandwal village. He says that whatever he has achieved today, the credit goes to his father. When asked about his experiences, he shared that ever since school, he had dreamt of becoming a police officer. Since there were no proper facilities in the village, he went to the city to pursue his dream. By exercising every morning from 5 to 6 and studying during the rest of the day, he was able to fulfill his dream at the young age of just 22. Both he and his father always feel proud of this achievement. He further said that later, he trained 15 other youngsters for police recruitment, out of which 4 girls and 6 boys also became police officers. This is something that makes him very proud.
From this experience, I learned one thing – after fulfilling our own dreams, we should give wings to the dreams of others. Whatever goodness lies within us should also be shared with others.
When asked about the village and the youth, he said that today’s young generation is an investment for the country and the village, and with their strength, they can take the village to great heights.
During this conversation, a strong bond was built between us. I not only listened to his story but also shared some of my own school experiences with him. In such discussions, when we share our own experiences too, stronger connections and relationships are formed.
I asked him – “Who do we call a man? And since we are men, what responsibilities do we have to bear?”
He took some time and then replied – “From birth itself, it is decided that this boy will one day have to take care of a family. Today, while working in the police force, I have had some experiences about this. For example, in theft-related crimes, men are usually at the forefront. About 80 to 90% of thefts or illegal money-making activities are done by men. Their names appear in newspapers and on the news, and society labels them as criminals. But when I spoke to them, I realized that they often choose this path as a way to support their families. The burden of responsibility placed upon men often pushes them toward wrong actions. Society has bound men so tightly in the chains of responsibility that getting out of it seems almost impossible.”
After hearing this, I remained silent for a while. The situation of men and the conditions they are trapped in is truly concerning. The world is moving forward, but the burden of responsibilities is still carried by men.

[Rituu B. Nanda]

What a great insight Shahrukh! Thank you so much for bringing it to us. SALT and Masculinity combined very well