Lazim, Memories, and Masculinity

[Shahrukh Atpade]

Visiting Nandwal village every day and meeting people has now become a part of my life. Whenever I arrive at the office, I always feel a special sense of joy, because I eagerly look forward to hearing what good things I will learn from the community that day.

On that day, when I went to the village, I saw a man sitting with a mobile phone in his hand, wearing slightly untidy clothes. I approached him and introduced myself. He immediately recognized me and said, I often see you in the village. You are doing great work. You are guiding the youth well. After that, our conversation continued further.

When I asked him about his life, he said, I always like to help others. Helping others gives me happiness.

When I asked him about his youth, he began to share his memories: In our time, most of the young people used to play wonderful traditional games. Back then, the village had two political groups—rigid and envious of each other. But whenever people came together for the traditional Lazim programs, those moments were worth watching. We performed Lazim across many places in India, traveled together, and showcased this art.

I asked him how today’s generation could preserve this art. He replied, Recently, the boys in the village have again started playing Lazim. And interestingly, even those who normally criticize them are now feeling happy. It is said, ‘Children are flowers from God’s home,’ and children hold a value as precious as being close to God.

Then I asked him, Is being a man easy?

He remained silent for a while and then said, No.

I asked, Why?

He replied, If I were asked which life I would want in my next birth, I would never choose to be a man.

I asked, Do all men feel the same way?

He said, Yes. But no one will openly say it. Today I felt like saying it, so I am sharing this with you. Living as a man has become very difficult nowadays. In our time, there was not so much mental stress. At home, everyone would sit together and discuss even the smallest of matters. But now families have grown, responsibilities have increased, and so has men’s tension. I am now 45 years old. I don’t have children. But carrying the responsibility of moving the family forward has become my duty. In society, the image of a man is of someone who drinks alcohol, fights, and is disliked by everyone. And unfortunately, this will continue to be the identity of men in the future.