It took us 10 years to have this conversation!

[Rituu B. Nanda]

On 19th April 2026 with the Avani Smile team in Kolhapur, Maharashtra, Sam and I visited a Self help group (SHG) in Shikewadi village.  Set up ten years ago. SHG members have met at the home of the group president. Their meetings have been about savings, loans, and money. Between taking care of their homes, children, and cattle, there was very little time for anything else. Conversations, when they happened, were about everyday things like food or a new saree.

Above photo courtesy- Jayshree

Avani has started community-led approach in Shilkewadi recently and they conducted individual SALT conversations with a few members of this SHG. But now they came together as a group for a SALT conversation. For the first time, they spoke about their lives. They spoke about loss, struggle, pride, and what they have lived through. One woman spoke about losing her husband at a young age and raising three children with no food at times. Today, her children are settled. Her son is in the defence services. As she spoke, her sister's daughter in law sat beside her, listening. They have been in the same family for six years, but had never had this conversation. There were tears in her eyes. Another woman spoke about how common conflict is between mothers in law and daughters in law. She makes it a point to visit families when a new marriage happens. She shares her own experience and encourages them to support each other. She believes it makes a difference to the whole family.

Group reflection Most said, "we were surprised. We were not aware of the strengths in each other." They realized they did not really know each other, even after all these years. Many of them said they used to think their own lives were the most difficult. After listening to others, they began to see others had harder lives.

The women also spoke about how stressful life has become. They feel people are carrying a lot inside, and that conversation like this can help them speak. Shah Rukh, Avani facilitator, expanded that women have gone through a lot of pain in their lives and such conversations provide a platform to share the hard ships they have faced which serve as a source of inspiration. Women said that we are very busy but need to find time to have SALT conversation for our own well-being. its time we did something for ourselves.

I am still thinking about what they said. Many observed that in ten years, they had never had such a meeting. 

We often assume that bringing women together for economic reason in groups is enough . That if they meet regularly, something will change. But sitting together for years does it mean they will have strong ties. Does economic growth automatically lead to social cohesion and transformative change?

I have not only facilitated on community and youth led approach but also facilitated evaluations and read reports of other evaluations of SHGs. Self help groups across India are strong when it comes to savings and loans, attendance is fairly regular and women develop financial literacy but few hold the power. Taking the case of this SHG (and in my work I have come across many) if ten years can pass without such a conversation, what are we missing in the way SHGs operate?

We are beginning to see that women of this SHG have started seeing each other differently. They have start seeing themselves differently. As we are at the start of the process, we saw a few still have self-doubt. one said, "I am not educated, I don't think of any thing worthwhile i have done." 

As this facilitation by Avani continues, we will learn more. Meanwhile I leave with a query- what are self-help groups really for?

[Sadia Jafrin]

Thank you so much for sharing, Rituu. I’ve noticed something very similar in my own experience. Many women express that they didn’t realize they had any strengths at all, which is quite powerful to hear. It is very liberating when women begin to recognize their own abilities and, at the same time, support and uplift one another by appreciating each other’s strengths.