Please Listen to Us... We Also Have Something to Say...!

[Shahrukh Atpade]

Shelakewadi is a small rural village. A few days ago, I conducted a SALT activity with elderly men aged 50 to 90 years. Through this process, we built a relationship of trust. Based on that trust, today we had an open discussion with them about Masculinity.

These elderly men have spent their whole lives farming, working hard for their families, and contributing to the development of their village. They spent many years facing hard work, responsibilities, and struggles. But after the age of 50, their lives slowly begin to change. Farming responsibilities are passed on to the next generation, and they spend most of their time at home or sitting at the village square.

During the discussion, many of them shared their pain. They said, "Now, at home and in society, people often tell us, 'What do you know?' or 'You don't understand anything.' Nobody asks for our opinion."

These words may sound simple, but they hurt them deeply. These are the same men who spent their lives making decisions, supporting their families, and facing difficult times. But after a certain age, they begin to feel ignored in their own homes.

While talking about masculinity, we realized that men face pressure not only in their younger years but also in old age. They often experience neglect, loneliness, and the feeling that they are no longer needed.

This discussion opened a new door. They shared their life experiences, accepted their mistakes, talked about the lessons they had learned, and expressed what they expect from the younger generation. One wish was clear in their eyes: "Please give us a chance to share our advice. Please listen to us too."

Once again, we experienced the true strength of the SALT process. We did not go there to teach them. We went there to listen. Many times, people do not need solutions. They simply need someone who respects their experiences and listens to them.

In today's fast-moving world, we try to take care of the needs of elderly people, but it is equally important to value their experiences and opinions. They are not only the elders of our families; they are living witnesses to the history of our communities.

This conversation in Shelakewadi taught us an important lesson. Masculinity is not only about carrying responsibilities. It is also about respecting the feelings, experiences, and dignity of men at every stage of life.

Sometimes, the greatest gift we can give an elderly person is to listen to them with a caring heart. Because they still have so much to share. 

[Shahrukh Atpade]

I found that the conversations with younger and older men were very different. Younger men mostly talked about their future, jobs, education, relationships, and the pressure to earn money. Older men talked about their life experiences, family responsibilities, loneliness, and how they feel ignored as they grow older. They had one simple wish: they wanted someone to listen to them and value their opinions. Both groups face different challenges at different stages of life. Through the SALT process, I had the opportunity to listen to both groups with respect and learn from their experiences.

[Rituu B. Nanda]

Shahrukh, how is the conversation different between younger and older men? Thanks