Understanding the Reality of Masculinity Through Youth Experiences

[Shahrukh Atpade]

During my visit to Shelakewadi village, I met two young boys, Mahesh Shelke and Prithviraj Shelke, sitting together in the village square. They were talking with each other and at the same time scrolling reels on their mobile phones. I sat with them and started an informal conversation. In the beginning, they were still using their phones while answering my questions, but slowly they kept their phones aside and started talking with full attention.

At the start of the discussion, we talked about the village and the youth in the village. They shared that many young people in the village complete their education and keep themselves busy with work. From morning till evening, they are involved in different types of work. Some of them also do farming and are happy with it. They also proudly spoke about how people in the village earlier worked together for village development activities.

As the SALT conversation became deeper, Mahesh shared an important experience from his life. He said that two years ago, a tree plantation activity was organized in the village. Around 40 young boys, men, women, Gram Panchayat members, and elderly people participated together in this activity. The young boys brought tools, water, and other materials from their homes and planted more than 100 trees around the village. He said that today the shade of those trees is helping the villagers, and this gives him great happiness and satisfaction. While speaking, he proudly said, “Today we are sitting under the shade of one of those trees because of the work we did together.”

After this, Prithviraj shared his experience about supporting his family. He said that even though his family’s financial condition is good, he likes helping his family whenever they face difficulties. He also shares his opinions and supports the family in making decisions. He said, “I feel happy and satisfied when I can do something for my family and support them.”

The discussion then moved towards the topic of masculinity. I asked them, “Is being a man easy?” They thought for some time and then answered that being a man is neither completely easy nor very difficult. According to them, after growing up, earning money, taking responsibility, and protecting the family are considered the responsibilities of men. They feel proud to carry these responsibilities. At the same time, they also said that it is important for men to do some things according to their own wishes and interests.

During the discussion, I also shared some of my thoughts. We talked about how important it is for men to have a safe space in the family to express their feelings. Many times, men do not openly share their emotions with family members because they find it difficult. We all agreed that more such discussions are needed.

At the end of the conversation, I asked whether young people in the village need discussions like this. They gave a positive response and said that village youth would definitely participate in such discussions. However, bringing them together and finding time for everyone can be a little difficult. Still, they felt that such discussions can create an important space for young people to think, share experiences, and connect with each other.