When Men Open Up: Reflections from a Village Katta

[Shahrukh Atpade]

This evening, around six o’clock, I set out for Nandwal village. My purpose today was to meet the men of the village. I know that on Mondays, many men and young people are on holiday, so I try to meet them at that time.
I saw a few men sitting on the katta, chatting. I joined their discussion and quietly listened for some time. They were talking about several issues related to the development of the village. For nearly half an hour, I just listened to what they were saying. Then, I asked them a question: “You are having a very good discussion. Who do you think should work on these issues?”
As I had expected, they replied that the people of the village themselves should come together and solve their problems. I then asked, “So, who will take the lead?” They smiled and said, “No one is ready to come forward immediately. Everyone just says, ‘I am with you, you start.’”
This made it clear—there is awareness, and even willingness, but no one dares to take the first step.
After that, the conversation deepened further. I did not give any answers, I only asked questions through which they started thinking themselves: What exactly is the problem? Who faces it? Who will act? When will it be done? What will you do? And what strengths do you have among you to make it happen?
They began finding solutions on their own. From that, the following important topics emerged.
How to keep village businesses within the village.

How to stop people from selling land just for money.

Farmers are being cheated by schemes that promise to “double their money.” Those who get cheated do not come forward because they fear being mocked.

Why youth are turning towards addiction.

When traditional games will be revived.

How to improve the quality of the village school.

For about one and a half hours, we discussed such issues. The best part was that this was not a formal meeting—the discussion was happening right there on the katta. People passing by also stopped, shared their views, and moved on. I noted down all the points being raised.

That evening, I realized something important. These men may not be highly educated, but their experiences are truly valuable. I only asked the questions, and they themselves carried the conversation from problems to solutions.

It is always said that a person learns through experience—and today, this older generation demonstrated that through their reflections.

Seven men took part in this discussion. I returned home feeling very satisfied. Involving men in such conversations had always seemed difficult, but today I understood again that with patience and the right kind of facilitation, the discussion can definitely move forward.

[Nishat Tasnim Liza]

I learned that asking the right questions helps people find their own solutions. The men’s life experiences, though not formally educated, carry deep wisdom. Even informal conversations can spark important reflections and ideas for change.
People are ready for change—they just need courage and leadership to take the first step.