When Men Speak Freely: Touching the Roots of Responsibility and Belonging

[Nityam Ghosh]

During the masculinity session held in the Basa Line area of Bhatpara Tea Garden, the experience of conversing with two young men was deeply inspiring. The session began with a SALT conversation, which revealed several of their strong qualities—they are kind-hearted, respectful towards everyone, always stand by others in times of trouble, value true friendship, and are well-wishers of their village community. These qualities show that they not only hold positivity in their character but also view the entire community as their family and see cooperation and togetherness as their duty in every situation.

How do you feel when you hear the word “man” or “male”?In response to this question, the young men said that being a man means, first and foremost, taking responsibility for the household. They explained that family responsibility is their top priority.

Second, they said it is very important to stand with others in times of distress, especially in the village, where unity matters most during difficult times.

Third, they mentioned that managing the household well is very significant.

Fourth, they said that a man should act like cement in holding the family together—keeping it strong and united.

Fifth, they shared that when there is a man in the house, the family trusts him to handle responsibilities, no matter what time of night; he is expected to fulfill his duties.

Finally, they added that being a man also means finding ways to manage financial or other crises through resourcefulness and determination.

What are the things that make you feel like a man but you hesitate to share with others?The first young man said he could not complete his education because, after his father’s death, the family’s financial condition deteriorated badly. He wanted to continue studying but could not. He thought about working outside to earn money, but his family did not permit him to leave. Despite financial need, he felt shy to ask his mother or family members for money. Because of this, economic and social challenges created inner pressure and hesitation within him.

The second young man mentioned that he continues his studies and is also interested in sports, especially football. However, he hesitates to ask his parents for the sports materials he needs. When he sees other boys having the equipment required for playing football, he feels sad but cannot express his emotions openly. He keeps this pressure inside, without letting anyone know. This reflects the emotional conflict caused by hidden economic struggles and social hesitations.

As a SALT facilitator, I learned

That being a man is not just about taking responsibility—it also means holding the family together and keeping it strong. Hiding economic and social problems creates mental pressure and hesitation. Open conversation brings emotional relief and lightness to the heart. Group discussions help uncover deeper and hidden feelings.

After Experience Reflection

What went well in the conversation and why?

They said that they were able to openly share what was in their hearts—especially feelings about manhood that they had been holding inside for a long time. The curiosity and hesitation they had been carrying for days were released, and they felt lighter after expressing themselves. They also said that this openness brought them a sense of happiness, as if a long-standing pain had been healed. This kind of dialogue provided them with emotional relief and showed how beneficial it is to express hidden emotions through open discussion.

The best part of today’s conversation was that the young men were able to speak their hearts freely, especially on the topic of manhood. They broke their hesitation and clearly expressed what was on their minds, which made them feel emotionally lighter and happier. It felt like a healing touch on a long-kept pain, giving them inner peace and comfort. This shows that such open conversations bring emotional healing and relief.

What could have been done better in today’s conversation?

They responded that the discussion involved only two or three people. They suggested that if four or five members had participated together, more emotions and hidden feelings could have surfaced. Through such group discussions, people can express their deeply held emotions and curiosities more freely, which would lighten their hearts even further. They believe that collective conversations help individuals express themselves openly, leading to greater mental peace and understanding among all.

[Rituu B. Nanda]

Why were young men able to share their feelings openly? Thanks Nityam.