Salute to Rohan’s determination – from thoughts to action…

[Shahrukh Atpade]

On 21 January, I met Rohan. At that time, I conducted a SALT activity with him and we also discussed masculinity. During that conversation, he openly shared that he did not like painting and putty work at all. But because of family expectations, responsibilities of age, and the social pressure that “a man must do some kind of work,” he continued doing it. From his words, I understood that he was not working only for money; he also wanted satisfaction, mental peace, and to do something he truly liked.

Why were these thoughts not there earlier?

Earlier, many boys like Rohan did not have such questions in their minds. From childhood, they are given a fixed path—“do this work,” “take responsibility,” “men should not show weakness.” Because of this, they never think about their own feelings. They do not get time, space, or someone who listens to them.

Why are they thinking like this now?

After that meeting, we met and talked from time to time. Through the SALT process, he got a safe space to express his feelings. No one stopped him, no one judged him—people just listened. Because of this, he slowly started speaking more openly… and most importantly, he started thinking.

Now he is thinking…

He started asking himself questions like:

“Do I really like this work?”

“Why am I doing this?”

“What do I want in my life?”

…and now he is taking action

Now it has been almost two months since our first meeting. The good news is that Rohan has left painting and putty work. This was not just a thought—it was an action. He decided to leave the work he did not like.
Currently, Rohan is working with his friend Sameer in a company that sells bottled water. It has been ten days since he started this job. Today he had a holiday, so I went to meet him. Sameer was also there. During our conversation, something interesting happened—this time Sameer was asking questions like a facilitator.
Sameer asked, “Why did you not like that work?”
Rohan replied that many people in the village do the same work, so there is a lot of competition. There is enough work and good income, but he did not feel satisfied doing it. That is why he decided to leave.
Then Sameer asked, “What did your parents say?”
Rohan said that at first they needed some time. They asked who he would work with, what the job was, and how much salary he would get. Since Sameer was going with him and had already changed his job earlier, his parents finally agreed.

What benefits came from this change?
From this whole process, some important changes were seen:
Rohan started understanding himself better

His self-respect increased

He looked more satisfied
And most importantly, he had the courage to take decisions about his own life

Why is it difficult to engage men?
In this journey, one thing became clear—it is a little difficult to engage men. Because they are not taught to express their feelings. They grow up hearing things like “be strong” and “don’t show weakness.” Because of this, they do not open up easily.
But once they get a safe space, someone listens to them, and trust is built—they also start speaking openly, thinking deeply, and making changes.

One friend, one conversation, one change…
Sameer shared that after he changed his job, he kept meeting Rohan and talking with him about these things. Through those conversations, Rohan also got the courage to change.
From this whole process, I learned one important thing—change does not happen suddenly. It happens slowly. First, thoughts begin… then those thoughts get words… and finally, they turn into action.
Today, I could see satisfaction on Rohan’s face. Maybe this change is still at an early stage, but he has taken the first step toward changing his life.
And sometimes, big changes start with small thoughts and one small action.