Openness in Friendship and a Conversation on Masculinity

[Shahrukh Atpade]

Today, a SALT activity was conducted with a 23-year-old youth, followed by a discussion on masculinity.
Saurabh, 23 years old, has completed his education and is currently working in a company. When asked to recall a happy moment in his life, he shared an emotional memory with his group of friends. He said that since childhood, they were a group of 7 to 8 friends who always helped each other.

When asked how their friendship developed, he replied, We are from the same village, but our thoughts were similar. The things I liked were also liked by everyone in our group. We used to discuss even the smallest of things. We expressed our opinions. The things we couldn’t talk about at home, we shared in the group. Now, we don’t meet as often, but whenever we do, we open our hearts to each other.

Based on this point, I initiated a discussion on masculinity. I asked him, Does being a man cause you any disadvantages here? Because we often look for someone outside the home to express our feelings. He replied, Yes. When I am at home, there are feelings I can express with my parents, but not with outsiders. There are some matters that I feel like discussing only with family. At the same time, there are certain emotions or thoughts that can be openly shared with friends without hesitation. Parents also don’t share all their difficulties, but I can sense them. When asked, they avoid talking, which means they too don’t want to share. Everyone says that people should open up quickly, but it doesn’t happen immediately.

While speaking on this, I shared with him about my own relationship with my family and friends. This made him realize that I too go through the same situation he is experiencing. Our discussion continued. He said, Being a man is not easy. Caring for others’ feelings first, and then thinking about oneself, is a quality ingrained in men. And it is difficult to change this easily.

Today’s conversation was special for me because earlier I had a discussion with Ritu, where she suggested how I could create a positive environment within my group of friends. She also inspired me to express my own emotions. For the past three days, I have been talking with my friends, and gradually, I am building a different relationship with them around the subject of masculinity.

[Shahrukh Atpade]

Thank you Bayazid...!

[Bayazid Bostami]

love this blog!!!