Megha’s Regained smile

[Soumen Biswas]

After my mother’s death, Megha became my first child. She was only 10 years old then, studying in Class Four. As a father, I always had a dream that my daughter would study well and grow up to become a doctor. So, from an early age, I kept telling her that she must study hard to become successful in life. However, I never asked her what she actually wanted or what she loved.I believed that sending her outside for coaching or extra classes would help her learn better. So, I often told her to go to hostel. But whenever Megha heard this, she would become upset. One day she told me, “Father, I don’t want to study outside. I want to study with you.” At that time, I didn’t understand the importance of her words. I thought whatever I was doing was for her own good.

Gradually, I noticed that Megha was losing interest in her studies. Her marks in class also started to decline. That’s when I realized something was going wrong.
Then I started a SALT conversation with Megha. Through this conversation, I was able to understand my daughter’s inner feelings and strengths.

S – Support First, I approached Megha with love and calmly asked her what she liked. Through this question, I was able to connect with her emotionally. She again said that she wanted to study with me. Here, I encouraged her so that she could express herself openly.

A – Appreciate I listened to her carefully and tried to understand her feelings. I realized that Megha did not only want academic success; she also needed love and a sense of security from her family. Her desire to stay with her father reflected her deep emotional bond and affection for the family. After listening to her, I acknowledged and valued her feelings.

L – LinkI created a meaningful connection between her wishes and reality. I told her that she could continue her studies from home. As a result, Megha’s mind reconnected with her studies, and she began to study again with interest.

T – Transfer Gradually, I transferred the responsibility of studying to Megha herself. She started studying independently and gained confidence. As a result, Megha won Gold Medals in three subjects in the Olympiad examinations and was also awarded as a good student by her school.

Through the SALT conversation, Megha’s hidden strengths were revealed, and several positive changes occurred. She learned to express herself, her confidence increased, her interest in studies returned, she learned to take responsibility for herself, and she even began applying the SALT process in her own life.

Importance of SALT conversation by Father with his daughter:

A father always strives to provide his children with everything they need, and to do so in a timely manner. Most often, it is the mothers or the elders of the household who inform the father of what the children require. However, the children themselves are rarely asked directly what they truly want—which specific items they prefer, or what would genuinely bring them joy. For this reason, it is essential for fathers and children in every household to engage in "SALT Conversations." Such interactions yield several benefits: 1. A child will come to view their father as a close confidant; 2. They will feel free to open up and share their innermost thoughts; 3. A strong bond will be forged between father and child; 4. The social distance that often exists between a father and his children will dissipate; 5. A sense of self-confidence will blossom within each child; and 6. A relationship akin to that of friends will develop between father and child.

[Ashish]

Well Written,This write-up beautifully reflects a father’s emotional journey and learning.
It highlights the importance of understanding a child’s feelings rather than imposing expectations.
The use of the SALT approach is explained in a very simple and impactful way.
The transformation in Megha’s confidence and performance is truly inspiring.
Overall, it conveys a powerful message about love, communication, and trust in parenting. Thanks For Sharing.