Learning Together as a Family

[Shahrukh Atpade]

Family, a web of relationships that everyone longs for. It is the place where human life begins and where learning takes root. Today, I had the opportunity to meet such a family, through a SALT activity.
The conversation began in a light and easy manner. Each member shared their interests in a few sentences, which created a relaxed and open atmosphere. Soon, the parents started talking about the youth and children in the village. They said, Our children, as well as the children in the village, should change. They should share what’s in their hearts with us, and they should listen to what we say.
Hearing this, I realized that parents were burdening their children with expectations, imposing their own desires upon them. So I connected the conversation back to their own lives and asked, Do you express your own feelings to someone? Do you share what’s in your heart?
There was a moment of silence. Then the women spoke, Because of household work, we don’t get time. And even if we do, we cannot share our inner thoughts with our family, because we don’t feel safe.
The elderly added, No one listens to us, so we remain silent.
At that point, I reminded them of the good qualities within them—the ones they had already shared while talking about positive events in their lives. Gradually, the conversation shifted. The parents said, Just as we were able to express our thoughts in front of you today, in the same way children should express their thoughts to us, and we to them. We rarely have such conversations. But today, while speaking with you, we felt no fear or hesitation.
At that moment, I realized something important, even though I was present as a man, they still dared to speak openly. For a facilitator, this is a matter of pride.
After the dialogue ended, I carried out their AER (After Experience Reflection). They responded very positively. They enjoyed talking about their children, and felt satisfied after expressing their opinions. They discovered the good qualities within each family member, and understood new ways of communicating with their children.
This time, children were not part of the discussion, but next time I will definitely ensure their participation.