How SALT Conversations Strengthened My Personal Relationships

[Prakriti]

It has been six months since I started implementing ARC, and during this time I have learned many things. One of the most important learnings has been my personal growth. At the community level, the SALT in community has taught me a lot, and I am still learning every day. More than anything, SALT conversations have helped me understand my in-laws more deeply and strengthen my connection with them. I first learned about SALT through a Relationship Expansion Workshop. During the three-day workshop, I gained many valuable insights. While we were still in the workshop, Ritu encouraged us to practice SALT conversations with our family members. I tried it with my husband at that time, but it didn’t feel very effective.

After the training ended and I returned home, I realized; I had recently gotten married and ours was an arranged marriage. My husband and I were not very close initially. On top of that, we came from different professional backgrounds: I am a social worker, while he works in the tourism sector. Because of this, we rarely interfered in or discussed each other’s work.

Trying SALT with My Husband

One day, a thought came to my mind: What if SALT conversations could help strengthen my relationship with my husband? I decided to try again. Every evening after dinner, we usually go for a walk. During one of those walks, I asked him gently: “You have struggled a lot in life. When you look back, what decisions or moments make you feel proud? Which decision do you feel was the best one in your life?” At first, he looked surprised and asked, “Why are you asking this?”
When he saw my genuine interest, he began to open up. He shared his life story how his father left his mother, how his mother struggled to raise four children, how he went to China to create a better life for his younger siblings, learned a new language, returned to Nepal, and eventually started his own company. Listening to his journey filled me with immense pride. I felt deeply honored to be the wife of such a hardworking, self-made person. I shared my feelings with him, and that moment brought us emotionally much closer.

SALT with My Mother-in-Law

In Nepal, the relationship between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is often portrayed as difficult. Many times, daughters-in-law are treated poorly. However, I consider myself very lucky, my mother-in-law is understanding and kind. Four months after my marriage, I lost my own mother. I used to think that perhaps my mother-in-law showed me love out of sympathy. After my SALT conversation with my husband, I felt inspired to have a SALT conversation with her as well. One day after returning from the office, I went to her room and asked her to show me some old family photos. While looking at the photos together, I gently asked her about the times when she felt strongest in her life and how she managed to move forward after her husband left her. She shared everything her struggles, her pain, and her resilience. Through this conversation, I learned something deeply emotional: her younger son had passed away in a bike accident at the age of 20, and his date of birth was the same as mine. She shared that sometimes she feels as if I am her youngest son who has returned to her life. Hearing this made me feel both happy and deeply emotional. We cried together for a long time.

Through these experiences, I realized that SALT is not limited to workplaces or communities. When applied within our own families and personal lives, it can create powerful emotional connections and healing. SALT has helped strengthen my personal relationships in ways I never imagined. I now plan to have SALT conversations with my sister and my father very soon. I am deeply thankful to Ritu, who encouraged me to practice SALT.