Evolving Times and Masculinity

[Shahrukh Atpade]

For the past many days in Nandwal village, I have been meeting middle-aged men and engaging in SALT conversations on the subject of masculinity. These discussions are gradually becoming deeper. Today, one such discussion took place, through which I gained some new experiences and learned many new things.

After the SALT conversation began, he revisited some old memories. He spoke openly about traditional village games like Lezim and about how the current condition of the village was built through immense hard work. While recalling the earlier situation of the village, he felt emotional and said that it still gives him goosebumps. He remembered the days of extreme hardship, intense labor, and rigid political groups within the village. Even thinking about those times makes him uncomfortable, and he does not wish for those days to return. However, he also shared that today, because of education, people are thinking more critically and are trying to find ways to move beyond those divisions.

When I initiated a discussion on masculinity, he expressed his feelings very thoughtfully. He said that people generally try to help each other progress through good work. Although men are often considered emotionally reserved, in recent months many men and youth in the village have been channeling their energy into playing cricket. During the conversation, he mentioned that 88 people participated in the game, with significant involvement from both youth and middle-aged men. People from both political parties played together, though during election times, party lines and group divisions resurface.

While talking about masculinity, he shared that even if men do not always have a clear medium to express their emotions, they can still find ways to do so through small actions and everyday activities. At present, sports have become that pathway. Through traditions and newer forms of games, men are becoming mentally and physically healthier. Reflecting on both traditional games and cricket, he noted that these games have been part of life for many years. Even if they no longer actively play, they still participate by encouraging young people.

He concluded by saying that being a man is neither simple nor easy, but expressing emotions and taking steps toward self-change play a very important role. In this process, men need to support the younger generation. Today, young people are trying to do something constructive on their own, but they strongly need the guidance and support of elders—and he affirmed that they are making a sincere effort to provide that support.