When a Man Opens His Heart

[Nityam Ghosh]

During today’s SALT session in the Nichhe Line area of Bhatpara Tea Garden with 35-year-old community member Ramdhani Lohar, the conversation on masculinity was truly inspiring.

Through the session, several of his strengths came forward — such as caring for family, being a problem solver, and having positive thinking.

When asked, "What do you feel when you hear the word 'man' or 'male'?", he said:

A man is like the open sky — free to go anywhere without restriction.

A man is someone who can handle even the toughest challenges.

A man is like the pillar of the family, like a father.

One who has the spirit to take responsibility.

Someone who stands by others during problems, especially at night.

When asked, "What are the things that make you feel like a man but you hesitate to share with others?", he said:

I have many wishes to fulfill my family's needs, but I haven’t been able to do so. This always pricks my heart.

Then, after more open discussion, he was encouraged to reflect on how he could use his inner strengths to achieve his dreams for his family. After thinking for a while, he said:

I need to work harder and plan better with time so I can make these things happen more easily.

Key learnings from the session

Importance of sharing weakness:

From Ramdhani Ji’s open sharing, it became clear that men in tea garden communities often hide emotional struggles behind ideals of freedom, resilience, and responsibility. Yet, the SALT conversation gave him relief and new motivation for change.

Strength-based empowerment:

By recognizing his inner strengths, he could imagine practical steps toward his goals. This reflects the essence of SALT — stimulating reflection through questions, appreciating existing strengths, listening deeply, and transferring ownership for self-driven progress.

AER (Appreciation, Exploration, Reflection)

What went well and why?

The question was deeply connected to his life, so he felt very good sharing it. The pain he had been holding inside found expression during this conversation. He felt lighter and happier after speaking openly. He also said he felt like he was sharing with family — that’s why he could open up.

What could have been better?

If someone had asked such heartfelt questions earlier, it would have been even more helpful. The time was also too short; having more time would have made it better.