"When trust isn't given easily"

[Rojina Wagle]

As a social work student, I always believed I had skills to connect with people.When I came across the opportunity to serve as a community facilitator under the ARC project, I was more than excited. I saw it as a golden opportunity to work at grassroot level and engage with people one-to-one. Being an extrovert, I thought stepping into the community, having conversations and building trust would be as natural as butter spread on the bread.But reality had different plan for me.

The community, I was assigned to, was Dalit community. They had already faced disappointments before. They had seen projects come and go,promises made but never fulfilled. So, when I first introduced the ARC project they were hesistant. They wondered, "Why should we trust again?What if this is just another promise?" It was definitely not an easy task to convince them and make them understand that ARC project is different. Explaining about the project to the community required lot of patience and persistence.

I still remember my first day of data collection. After hours of efforts,I only managed to collect data from three or four households. It was exhausting. Being a student, timing was another challenge: mornings were for college and afternoons were for fieldwork. In the afternoons, most people were away working daily wage jobs to sustain their family. Sometimes, I even visited the same house three or four times and still couldn't meet anyone.Even when I did meet people, the conversations were not easy. Additionally, getting their consent was another challenge. Many agreed verbally but when it came to signing on consent form, they pulled back.Some feared that the document might be linked to land or house ownership issues, something very sensitive, since they didn't officially own their houses.Others had never signed before and few unable to write their names.

What changed everything was time and listening. Slowly I began to change my approach.So, instead of convincing them, I chose to listen. I stopped rushing for data collection and taking consent. I listened their stories, their frustration and even their silence and hopes.They began to see that I was not there to impose but to understand.But the journey wasn’t perfect. Despite many efforts, there were still some who couldn’t believe in me or the project. And I think it is okay because trust takes time, and sometimes, no matter how much we try, not everyone is ready to place their faith again.

The ARC project has definitely make me realize that working in a community is not just about how extroverted or friendly you are but it's about patience, empathy and consistence. It's about understanding the reason behind "no" , respecting people's concerns and building trust.

This experience was far from easy but,it was real. And in that reality,I found my biggest learning.

[Santi rambari]

Reading your blog reminded me of a similar experience I had in the past. You have described it so beautifully and simply. I want to read more of your writing. Please write.

[Rituu B. Nanda]

Your reflection on baseline and powerful listening is very powerful. Thanks Rojina YOu ar working very hard- working as well as studying:-)