We contribute space for discussion, reflection and action

[Gerard Ee Huck LIan]

"You contributed the space for people to  discuss, to reflect and to act. Intangible maybe but invaluable!”  Jean Louis Lamboray commented after reading my lasr post.  Space and time are 2 very important gifts we can give and definitely,  2 very important resources we need to do our work. Space and time are often in shortage when young people are deemed to be putting themselves or others at risk of harm. For instance, a 9 year old boy who is attending school 3 out of 5 days a week is deemed to be putting himself at risk of delinquency but supporting his family to address the issue takes time. So in the interest of speed, we take charge and as a result “steal” the problem away from the family. Soon after we will observe that neither the  family or the boy believes that not going to school is a problem. We will also observe that we are not very effective in resolving the problem.

 

A few days before last year ended, we facilitated a meeting with 8 youths and 7 adults, some of whom were the parents of the youths. It was a group that had been meeting regularly since June 2010 and every time a meeting was called, they would come enthusiastically. Through a series of meetings, this group had articulated a dream for a better neighbourhood and we called everyone together to keep the conversation going. We reaffirmed them that they had a very positive dream and wondered which 3 aspects of it would they consider to be the most important. A vigorous discussion followed and it came down to 1. Education,  2. Building leaders in the neighbourhood and 3. A larger stage for them to showcase their talents.  They then split into 3 groups to further discuss each of these priorities.

 

On a scale of 1 to 5, the group discussing education assessed that their level of education was currently at 2 and within the next 2 to 3 years, they would like to rate themselves at 3. We then asked them how they were going to get to 3 and the youths filled up 2 large sheets of paper listing action steps like  “parents discussing child’s progress with teachers” and “parents supervising homework”  A parent who was in the group could not really believe what she was seeing and challenged the youths if they were just writing the ‘correct’ answers. “Don’t you always hate it when your parents ask you about your homework?”  she asked. The youth writing the notes replied calmly “Yes but  if we really want to do better in our studies, this must be the way.”  From the youth’s tone of voice, we were convinced that it was not a ‘clever’ response but a sincere one. This group of youths were taking responsibility for their education and taking steps to overcome the challenges they faced.

 

The sight of people helping themselves is one of the most rewarding experiences and it  happens if we do not “steal” people’s problems but learn to give them the space to discuss, reflect and act.  Intangible maybe but invaluable.

 

Enjoy your weekend.

Gerard

Our industrialised large scale society is not one with too many internal conflicts. It is one with too little. Conflicts might kill,  but too little of them might paralyse. – Nils Christie

[Rituu B. Nanda]

Hi Gerard, I shared your article with Tom as a response to his blog. You can read his comment at

http://indiacso.ning.com/profiles/blogs/child-safe-societies?commen...