Learning Masculinity Through Experience: A Ground-Level Perspective

[Imran]

1 August 2025

Learning Masculinity Through Experience: A Ground-Level Perspective

Sambhaji Kenawade
Chairman,
Vitthal Vikas Seva Sanstha
(An organization working for farmers)
Age: 50

We had previously met him in connection with the SALT approach. He is a helpful person. Today, we had a discussion with him about the upcoming Ganesh festival, the challenges faced by youth groups, and also about masculinity. It was a very good discussion. From him, we got to learn how a man should be.

After our general conversation, we asked him some questions related to masculinity –
What is a man? Whom do we call a man?
He said, “A man always tries to stay superior. He functions according to his own will. Some men are calm by nature, while some are short-tempered. Such kinds of people exist. A man plays various roles in the house, neighbourhood, village, and society. He has a responsibility.”

I asked him a follow-up question based on his answer –
If a man behaves in a superior manner, is he trying to imitate someone? Is there pressure on him or are some things forced upon him?
He said, “To some extent, they might be imitating. But if I speak personally – currently, my wife is working. I am not going to any job; I’m only taking care of the farm. When my wife goes out to work, I must fulfill the responsibilities at home. When she comes home from work, she can’t cook dinner every day. In this case, I and my two sons do as much of the housework as we can.

Now that we have understood these responsibilities, there are never any quarrels in our home. We give space to each other. A husband and wife are like the two wheels of a cart that carries the household forward. Only if both walk together will the cart of life move ahead. I don’t believe in any concept of superiority or inferiority.”

I asked him, How do you all express yourselves?
He replied, “At home, during meals, we sit together and discuss the entire day. Sometimes there is irritation about work, but we don’t let it affect us much. Whatever troubles we go through, we talk to each other about them.”

I asked, Have you ever felt like – why was I born as a man?
He replied, “Whenever a person is going through a lot of trouble, it is natural to feel that way. Every man wishes that his business or job should be stable. When these things don’t go well, the person faces difficulties. When pressure builds from something, it is natural to feel this way. But I believe that continuing to work and finding happiness in what we have – not just men, but every person should do that.”

Our discussion was very positive. We got to learn many things from him. He also assured us that he would fully support the idea of bringing the boys together and working with them.

Because of SALT, the conversation around masculinity became more sensitive and thoughtful. It moved beyond the traditional belief that “a man must be strong” or “a man is everything,” and brought forward a new understanding that a man can be responsible, understanding, and collaborative. 

 Sambhaji Kenawade felt positive, respected, and engaged during the meeting. They seemed to be in a very relaxed mood.
I  am also enjoying and learning a lot from such discussions.