How Hijlipara Is Redefining Gender Roles

[Sadia Jafrin]

On 29th December 2024, I had the privilege of conducting a dream-building session in Hijlipara, Byaspur, Gopalgonj. It was a session that not only allowed me to interact and learn from the members of the community but also opened my eyes to the subtle yet profound shifts taking place in a small village that I call home. Thirty-three participants, representing three generations—grandparents, parents, and children—gathered. What I observed was both heartening and deeply thought-provoking.

As we began the session, I started with appreciation and gratitude and then we did group SALT. After the SALT conversation, when I asked if anyone knew the name of the conversation, a mother immediately spoke up, “It’s called SALT, and we know it!” The spark of curiosity in her eyes was unmistakable, and it was clear that the community, despite its rural location, was already embracing new ideas with enthusiasm.

For the dream-building exercise, we divided the group into three categories: one for parents, one for grandparents, and two for adolescents and children. While the facilitators and documentation officer focused on the children’s groups, I was assigned to work with the grandparents. It was a session that, at first glance, seemed to be business as usual. But what I discovered during my visit to the parents’ group left me in awe.

When I approached the parents’ group, I was taken aback by the sight of a full page of neatly written ideas, with excellent handwriting, outlining their dreams and the concrete steps they had already taken to make those dreams a reality. The parents, particularly the mothers, were actively engaging in the discussion, sharing their thoughts with passion and conviction. 1 mother named Nipa, for instance, suggested ways to engage children through good reading materials, while Afsana Apa shared strategies to motivate children to invest more in their studies. The parents were vocal, committed, and engaged in a way that is rarely seen in many rural villages, where women are often silent, believing they have no right to make decisions or dream. In these communities, the father’s voice is often the dominant one, and the mother’s voice is drowned out by a patriarchal system that has persisted for generations.

What struck me even more was the interaction between the grandparents and their daughters-in-law. Instead of the usual scolding or disapproval, the grandparents were actively listening, appreciating their daughters-in-law’s ideas, and encouraging them. They even suggested gathering the children at a specific time each day for play, study, and storytelling sessions. It was a remarkable sight, as this kind of interaction—especially in rural villages—tends to be dominated by control and authority rather than encouragement and collaboration.

As I reflected on this, I realized that the dynamic in Hijlipara was unique. Most of the men in the community work in Dhaka and return to the village only once a month or so. In their absence, the women—primarily the daughters-in-law—manage everything: from household duties and child-rearing to the in law’s health and financial well-being of the family. This shift in responsibility has given them a kind of quiet authority that they would not otherwise have in the presence of male family members. It dawned on me that had there been more men present in the session, the mothers may not have been as vocal, as it is often the patriarchal norms that stifle women’s voices.

One of the participants was a couple: the man was outspoken, while his wife barely spoke. I couldn't help but wonder how the energy in the session would have shifted if there had been more men. The presence of men often dilutes the active participation of women, particularly in patriarchal societies, where women are conditioned to remain silent and defer to male authority. But what I saw in Hijlipara was the direct opposite—a clear display of leadership and intelligence from the mothers.

For me, this was a significant moment. Growing up in this village, I had always seen women in my family, including my mother and aunts, remain silent, seldom engaging in conversations. To witness such empowerment from the mothers of Hijlipara was truly eye-opening. They were not only vocal but also confident in presenting their dreams in front of other groups, sharing their ideas, and taking ownership of their futures.

This visit to Hijlipara changed my perspective on many levels. It showed me that change is possible, even in the most traditional and patriarchal settings. The women of Hijlipara are breaking free from the bonds of patriarchy, slowly yet steadily. They are not just dreaming—they are taking action, they are leading, and they are inspiring the next generation to do the same.

In a broader context, Hijlipara is a symbol of hope. It is a community that is challenging the norms and rewriting the story of gender dynamics. The visit reminded me that, no matter how deep-rooted traditions may be, change is inevitable when people are empowered to take control of their narratives. Hijlipara is a beacon of change, offering a glimpse of a future where patriarchy fades, and equality and empowerment take center stage.

I left Hijlipara with a renewed sense of optimism. It is communities like these that will spark the transformation we so desperately need in rural areas—and perhaps even in urban spaces—where patriarchal mindsets still hold significant sway.

Hijlipara is, indeed, a ray of hope in the slow but steady fight against patriarchy. And I am grateful for the chance to witness it firsthand.

 

[Sadia Jafrin]

Thank you Rituu for your questions.

After participating in both individual and group SALT sessions, the mothers realized that they have the strength and capacity to make a positive change for the betterment of their children. They recognized that, with some extra effort, they could come together with the children, parents, and grandparents to engage in activities that promote both play and study. This would help reduce mobile phone addiction and bridge the learning gap caused by the lack of quality home tutors. The age group of participants ranges from 20 to 35 years. There has been a notable change in 5-6% of the women in the village.

In my blog, I aimed to highlight why these mothers immediately understood their strengths and took action—they have the authority to make decisions for their families. I also hope that if we could engage more men through SALT, the impact and change they could bring would be significant. 

[Rituu B. Nanda]

Why according to you is the change in the women? What are they doing what they were not doing before? What is the age group of these women? And the change is in what percentage of women in the village? Thanks Sadia!