As I was seated in our sitting room with my daughters aged seven, eleven, sixteen, a soap opera titled IT MIGHT BE YOU was running on one of the TV stations. Two characters in the opera started kissing, my seven year old daughter covered her eyes while the rest continued watching. These scenes of love are common in these operas like WHEN YOU ARE MINE, LOVE STORY BY AN INDIAN GIRL, THE TORMENTOR, CAST BY THE SEA, LAST SAY OF SUMMER and many others that have dominated many of our Radios and Television stations over the globe. Most youth in school watch these soaps to wee hours of the night. Can they send the youth to experiment early sex?

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I think so, out of curiousity, they might attempt to do these things with their friends. Some boys might be tempted to pressure their girlfriends into having sex with them.

What our children watch on television greatly influences their perception of life and this includes soap operas. Here in the Philippines the tele-novelas (television-novelas) abound the air time because of their commercial viability. What adolescents see on television if they are not properly guided might encourage them to experiment on life and this can include early sex. My work has brought me encounters with the youth in schools and even if our parents refuse to acknowledge early sex activities among them, they admit to sexual activities at age 14 or 15....this is the more reason that parents need to discuss gender, sex and sexuality with the children properly.

Dear Namara Arthur Araali, your story inspired me.

I'm 25, so my adolescence is not that far.. I've never been watching soap operas when I was young, as my parents were very careful about what we could watch, my brother and sister and I. If we wanted to watch TV, we had to chose some interesting TV programs. When I was a child, I've got angry with my parents, because my friends at school could watch soap operas.Now, I thank my parents for having done it. 

 

Well, I guess you've been schocked by what you've seen. But what have you seen? Was it a kiss? Or could you see a sexual relationship? It is very different if it's one situation or the other one. 

 

So, in that situation, you are with your three lovely daughters, watching something which can make them confused. In my opinion, it's your role, as a father, to explain to them what they've seen, and what love or sex is, in the "real life". I'm sure you've done it already. When I was around 12, I've seen some shocking pictures at school, like pornographic pictures. And I was so shocked I decided to talk about it with my parents, because they were (and they still are) my reference points, like a light in the dark night. I felt much better after talking to them, because they explained me what real love was, what sexual relationships were..


So, I do not think soap operas drive the youth into early sex practices. Maybe it can "inspire" them.. Instead of talking about "early sex practices", maybe we should talk about "safe sex practices". Because, in my opinion,we should keep in mind that, even if it's an early sex practice, we hope that it will be a SAFE one. Don't you think? But I think that, in a loving family, a teenager is like a sheep and the parents are the shepherds, to explain him how to have a safe behavior in sexual relationships. And at that moment, the adolescent will know when it will be the right moment. Early, or not, he will know because he will listen to his heart and will remember the lessons learned from his parents.


Dear Namara, I do not want to give you any lessons. Your story inspired me and I wanted to share what I've learned from my "teenage experience".

 

I wish you the best, to you and your loving family :)

Warmly,

Marion

 

dear narmara,

Thank you for putting the discussion on the table, 'twas an interesting one. I ve read down the replies made by our intellectuals and I thank them too 4 providing me such an inputs.  I especially like Marion’s shearing particularly.

Through this discussion, I personally want to invite all the readers to my native village called Jalukie Village in the state of Nagaland, INDIA. Where there's hardly a phone connection needless to talk about TV. The people here tills and toils for livelihood but poorest of the poorest are we. Parents work in the field whole day through the years to feed kids and to provide education, however, there are hardly graduate students, singles found are only minors of 12-14 years old teenagers, some gets pregnant some eloped some in deep relationship, etc. After a tiresome work, the children were left with freedom as the parents retire to a deep sleep. Those children were never exposed to porno or any TV operas; they simply have the desire like any other normal beings and thereby, with opportunity thing really happened for good or wateva.  

We born together with desire and to tackle the situations are our responsible. Desire to have sex comes normally but misusing may depend on the opportunity. Everyone is susceptible to sex with or without external influence. Those young kids were involved in sex with desire and may not always be the outcome of the opera.  Opera may be adding some fuels but that cannot be stopped. Like we have diseases and medicines, we have little or no chance of wiping out the diseases but with medicines we may avoid the menace. We have anti social or evil practices which differ from person to person; nevertheless, it is our responsible to take the right medicine for the right disease at the right time.  

 

 regards

irangbui hingleu

 

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