Comments - Listening with filters - Community life competence2024-03-29T00:57:33Zhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profiles/comment/feed?attachedTo=2028109%3ABlogPost%3A123133&xn_auth=noResponse from Usa Duongsaa po…tag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2013-09-07:2028109:Comment:1260172013-09-07T03:34:17.225ZRituu B. Nandahttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/RituuBNanda94
<p>Response from Usa Duongsaa posted in CLC Nepal group on Facebook…</p>
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<p>Response from Usa Duongsaa posted in CLC Nepal group on Facebook</p>
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<div><div><div class="UFICommentContent"><a class="UFICommentActorName" href="https://www.facebook.com/usa.duongsaa">Usa Duongsaa</a> <span><span class="UFICommentBody"><span><span>Yes,</span> <a class="profileLink" href="https://www.facebook.com/philip.forth" target="_blank">Philip Forth</a><span>, the link works fine, thank you! Great activity by Luc and great story indeed. Absolutely agree that asking the right question(s) is key. In my experience, I have also found that there are many right questions to ask. And I see not</span></span><span><span><span>hing wrong with simply asking a direct question of "What do you think are your/the group's/the community's strengths?". Never had a problem with that direct question, so long as it was asked with genuine interest. The people might be surprised because they got used to being asked what their problems were but not what their strengths were, but they never were short of answers. I think our attitudes and the way we ask are as important as the questions we ask <span class="emoticon_text">:-)</span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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</div> Hi Marie,
We talk of 'apprec…tag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2013-09-06:2028109:Comment:1260742013-09-06T16:45:22.442ZPhilhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/Phil
<p>Hi Marie, </p>
<p>We talk of 'appreciating strengths'. Perhaps this does not mean that 'we' have to appreciate 'their' strengths. It does not mean that 'we' have to inform 'them' of their strengths. What is important is that 'they' appreciate 'their' strengths. And for this to happen, we don't have to say very much. </p>
<p>I like this story by Luc: …</p>
<p>Hi Marie, </p>
<p>We talk of 'appreciating strengths'. Perhaps this does not mean that 'we' have to appreciate 'their' strengths. It does not mean that 'we' have to inform 'them' of their strengths. What is important is that 'they' appreciate 'their' strengths. And for this to happen, we don't have to say very much. </p>
<p>I like this story by Luc: <a href="https://sites.google.com/a/communitylifecompetence.org/the-global-learning-festival/home/the-stories/3-widows-at-the-wheel">https://sites.google.com/a/communitylifecompetence.org/the-global-learning-festival/home/the-stories/3-widows-at-the-wheel</a></p>
<p>Here the ladies talk, Luc listens and the ladies come to understand their own strengths. And they are surprised by their strengths.</p>
<p>I find that 'appreciating strengths' is a subtle and delicate thing. </p>
<p>Phil</p> More on listening in the foll…tag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2013-09-04:2028109:Comment:1259442013-09-04T10:09:23.511ZMarie Lamborayhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/MarieLamboray
<p>More on listening in the following blogs and comments:</p>
<p>Learning to listen more carefully, by Phil </p>
<p><a href="http://aidscompetence.ning.com/profiles/blogs/learning-to-listen-more">http://aidscompetence.ning.com/profiles/blogs/learning-to-listen-more</a></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“In order to Listen Attentively, I must be conscious of this - to be fully present for the other person(s), accepting, respecting the person(s) who is in front of me, as fellow human beings.” From the inside out,…</p>
<p>More on listening in the following blogs and comments:</p>
<p>Learning to listen more carefully, by Phil </p>
<p><a href="http://aidscompetence.ning.com/profiles/blogs/learning-to-listen-more">http://aidscompetence.ning.com/profiles/blogs/learning-to-listen-more</a></p>
<p> </p>
<p>“In order to Listen Attentively, I must be conscious of this - to be fully present for the other person(s), accepting, respecting the person(s) who is in front of me, as fellow human beings.” From the inside out, by Christina Maria Padman </p>
<p><a href="http://aidscompetence.ning.com/profiles/blogs/from-the-inside-out">http://aidscompetence.ning.com/profiles/blogs/from-the-inside-out</a><a href="http://aidscompetence.ning.com/profiles/blogs/from-the-inside-out"><br/></a></p> Je comprends l’effet du filtr…tag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2013-09-04:2028109:Comment:1257942013-09-04T10:06:19.761ZMarie Lamborayhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/MarieLamboray
<p>Je comprends l’effet du filtre « être attentif au forces » par rapport à celui « être attentif au problèmes » et le rôle stimulant qu’il a sur une communauté ; cela crée de nouvelles conversations, de nouvelles possibilités. Mais une écoute sans être attentif ou attentive aux faiblesses ou aux forces ne fait-elle pas aussi du bien ?</p>
<p>Si mon interlocuteur a vécu ce que je raconte de la même manière ou de manière différente, ou s’il a une histoire vécue ou non qui m’aide à voir autrement…</p>
<p>Je comprends l’effet du filtre « être attentif au forces » par rapport à celui « être attentif au problèmes » et le rôle stimulant qu’il a sur une communauté ; cela crée de nouvelles conversations, de nouvelles possibilités. Mais une écoute sans être attentif ou attentive aux faiblesses ou aux forces ne fait-elle pas aussi du bien ?</p>
<p>Si mon interlocuteur a vécu ce que je raconte de la même manière ou de manière différente, ou s’il a une histoire vécue ou non qui m’aide à voir autrement ce que je vis, j’aime l’écouter.</p>
<p></p>
<p>I understand the effect of the filter "look for strengths" compared to "look for problems" and the stimulating role it has on a community; it creates new conversations, new opportunities. But doesn’t it also feel good when we are just listened to, without remarks on our weaknesses or strengths?</p>
<p>If the person I’m talking to has experienced what I said in the same way or differently, or if he or she has a story, true or imaginary, that helps me see what I live differently, I love to listen.</p>
<p> </p> Hi Phil,
My takeaway from you…tag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2013-08-10:2028109:Comment:1240482013-08-10T12:30:38.124ZRituu B. Nandahttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/RituuBNanda94
<p>Hi Phil,</p>
<p>My takeaway from your blog and video was when listening to people be present. Listen to not only what is said but also listen for what is unsaid and what you feel is meant. I tried it out yesterday when someone was upset and I responded lovingly because I had seen the intention behind the words spoken. Thank you Phil!</p>
<p>Hi Phil,</p>
<p>My takeaway from your blog and video was when listening to people be present. Listen to not only what is said but also listen for what is unsaid and what you feel is meant. I tried it out yesterday when someone was upset and I responded lovingly because I had seen the intention behind the words spoken. Thank you Phil!</p> Kristin Bodiford Very usefu…tag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2013-08-08:2028109:Comment:1237822013-08-08T14:32:47.971ZRituu B. Nandahttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/RituuBNanda94
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<div><div><div class="UFICommentContent"><a class="UFICommentActorName" href="https://www.facebook.com/kristin.bodiford">Kristin Bodiford</a> <span><span><span>Very useful! Thank you Rituu for posting.…</span></span></span></div>
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<div><div><div class="UFICommentContent"><a class="UFICommentActorName" href="https://www.facebook.com/kristin.bodiford">Kristin Bodiford</a> <span><span><span>Very useful! Thank you Rituu for posting.</span></span></span></div>
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</div> Dear Rebeka,
Sometimes I rea…tag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2013-08-08:2028109:Comment:1237692013-08-08T06:26:05.008ZPhilhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/Phil
<p>Dear Rebeka, </p>
<p>Sometimes I read something and it makes a lot of things make sense. And things fell into place when I read your comment. Yes, in order to listen, I need first of all to listen to nothing (or perhaps I need to listen to emptiness). And when I have done that, I can listen, perhaps with or perhaps without a filter. But first of all find the silence. </p>
<p>Thanks you very much for that, it is a great help. </p>
<p>My best wishes</p>
<p>Phil</p>
<p>Dear Rebeka, </p>
<p>Sometimes I read something and it makes a lot of things make sense. And things fell into place when I read your comment. Yes, in order to listen, I need first of all to listen to nothing (or perhaps I need to listen to emptiness). And when I have done that, I can listen, perhaps with or perhaps without a filter. But first of all find the silence. </p>
<p>Thanks you very much for that, it is a great help. </p>
<p>My best wishes</p>
<p>Phil</p> Phil,
Thanks for the post. I…tag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2013-08-07:2028109:Comment:1236612013-08-07T14:41:43.033Zrebeka sultanahttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/rebekasultana
<p>Phil, </p>
<p>Thanks for the post. I totally agree if we can just LISTEN, not strength not weakness but listening. At times I even can't listen. And this happened at home while I am doing something and in the middle my husband or son passing behind me and telling me something, or asking something. I just don't get what they saying. I need total stopping before listening. Because often time in these situations after minutes of conversation I caught myself I was thinking totally different…</p>
<p>Phil, </p>
<p>Thanks for the post. I totally agree if we can just LISTEN, not strength not weakness but listening. At times I even can't listen. And this happened at home while I am doing something and in the middle my husband or son passing behind me and telling me something, or asking something. I just don't get what they saying. I need total stopping before listening. Because often time in these situations after minutes of conversation I caught myself I was thinking totally different things ....</p>
<p>I thing L ( listening) is the most important element of SALT, and our everyday life.</p>
<p>Regards, </p>
<p>Rebeka</p>