Gerard Ee Huck LIan's Posts - Community life competence2024-03-19T06:14:31ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIanhttps://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/2523281117?profile=RESIZE_48X48&width=48&height=48&crop=1%3A1https://aidscompetence.ning.com/profiles/blog/feed?user=3gqty8kkyh3md&xn_auth=noDreaming of the neighbourhood we wanttag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2019-01-27:2028109:BlogPost:1752332019-01-27T03:02:38.000ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIan
<p>When we tell our youth members that they are responsible for creating the neighbourhood that they wish to live in, it generates some excitement among them but often when it is time to do the work, not many show up. However, this week 15 youth in Ghim Moh showed up for a neighbourhood dream-building session. We were pleased and gathered that it was probably because the invitation was made by a parent who has been most concerned with their well-being the past few months. Moreover, this mother…</p>
<p>When we tell our youth members that they are responsible for creating the neighbourhood that they wish to live in, it generates some excitement among them but often when it is time to do the work, not many show up. However, this week 15 youth in Ghim Moh showed up for a neighbourhood dream-building session. We were pleased and gathered that it was probably because the invitation was made by a parent who has been most concerned with their well-being the past few months. Moreover, this mother together with some other neighbours had prepared a meal of chicken rice noodles with freshly cut watermelon for dessert which was yet another gesture of care that the youth recognised.</p>
<p><br/> The dream building process began by asking the youth to envision a personal dream before moving on to one for their neighbourhood. Youth were given a piece of paper and the instructions, "draw what you want your life to look like in 5 years' time. Think about home, family, friendships and jobs." In a rather shaky voice, one girl courageously shared, "In 5 years' time, I want my father to stop taking drugs, come back to our family and to live together with my mother and siblings happily." It was not just a dream, but a heartfelt wish then opened the door to a safe space for vulnerability which revelled that many dreamed of family stability and bliss.</p>
<p><a href="https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/894971899?profile=original" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img class="align-center" src="https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/894971899?profile=RESIZE_710x"/></a><br/> These youth then envisioned a neighbourhood that was kind and friendly where there was no bullying of any sort and one where youth who were hurting did not resort to self-harming behaviours. They also wanted their sepak-takraw team to win a competition and for all youth residing in their neighbourhood to complete their education achieving a Certification from the Institute of Technical Education. at the very least.</p>
<p><br/> To move toward their shared dream, the youth listed the actions or practices they would commit too. For a kinder and friendlier neighbourhood, they would remind each other to greet neighbours cheerfully and to assist their older neighbours with their grocery bags or other items they were carrying. For a more stable family, they committed to doing one family activity every fortnight. Suggestions for such activities included playing a board game, going for a walk together and preparing a meal.</p>
<p><br/> The plans appeared to be shaping up and the youth will reconvene in a couple of weeks to</p>
<p><strong><em>A dream doesn't become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work. - Colin Powell</em></strong></p>Sharing is Learningtag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2018-11-16:2028109:BlogPost:1727222018-11-16T02:19:53.000ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIan
<p> A learning festival serves as a platform for the exchange of good practices. 8 mothers and 3 youth from Singapore who are in Bandung this week were surprised that their experiences and reflections were valued by participants from other parts of the world. They may not always be able to explain their efforts with a philosophical or practice framework but that did not prevent them from inspiring others.</p>
<p>Khidir, a youth leader was listening to a sharing about the role of a local…</p>
<p> A learning festival serves as a platform for the exchange of good practices. 8 mothers and 3 youth from Singapore who are in Bandung this week were surprised that their experiences and reflections were valued by participants from other parts of the world. They may not always be able to explain their efforts with a philosophical or practice framework but that did not prevent them from inspiring others.</p>
<p>Khidir, a youth leader was listening to a sharing about the role of a local support team in a community. He was intrigued and sensed that he has been a supportive presence in his neighbourhood. He then decided to share his efforts to verify if he has been on the right track. He told a roomful of people that he believed in the importance of simply being available and approachable; which in his definition, often means being able to approach others. To be available, he sits at his neighourhood’s coffee shop taking a quiet interest in those who come by. Familiar faces stop for a chat and when he is feeling brave, he introduces himself to unfamiliar faces. The small talk over coffee often led to people talking about big issues in their lives.</p>
<p>Once, someone confided in him about his substance use. He was surprised to be trusted with such information, but he soon learnt about the impact of substance dependency on the individual and the people around him. That talk got him realising how important but at the same time difficult it is to put oneself in the shoes of others. Understanding is impossible if we have strong views or an aversion about people’s habits or situations. Hence, he figured that if he made it a point to always speak nicely to people, it improves his ability to hear what people are saying to him. </p>
<p>Khidir is 19 and is deeply grateful for the opportunity to earn his keep as a camp instructor and occasionally, he buys a meal at the coffeeshop for those down on their luck. However, he reckons that while people need to eat, it is perhaps as important that they feel cared for and supported by those around them. </p>
<p>Getting things right inspires but so does the humble understanding and acknowledgement when things are not going well. During a reflection session, Aida, a mother from the Ghim Moh rental flat neighbourhood, shared how a discussion on the importance of appreciating strengths in the community was a wake-up call for her. She realised that she had been pressuring other mums in her group to work toward her targets, without realising the importance of a collective dream. She had just assumed that her vision was right and got frustrated when others did not move in that direction. She concluded that they were not as motivated or committed as her, but she now realises that she had not asked them about their dreams or told them how much she appreciated their efforts and abilities in improving life in their neighbourhood.</p>
<p>A Learning Festival is a gathering in the spirit of sharing and mutual learning. People enjoy learning from the experiences of others, they enjoy sharing their own experiences with others and they enjoy seeing what new possibilities can arise from these experiences. It is also an opportunity to document the experiences that people bring to the event and their stories add to a repository of knowledge and wisdom. We are proud that our members are contributing to this treasure chest and you may want to check out other stories here <span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/constellationclcp/">https://www.facebook.com/constellationclcp/</a></span></p>
<p> Gerard</p>
<p><strong><em>Sustainability is about how strong your social capital is, how good your relationship with other people is. Deep connections are formed when we relate to each other as whole people - accepting vulnerabilities and weaknesses along with strengths. We all make mistakes, but what makes a difference is the ability to laugh at our mistakes and move forward. – Sohail Bawani, public health worker, Aga Khan University, Pakistan.</em></strong></p>Healing yourself is connected with healing otherstag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2018-11-05:2028109:BlogPost:1721572018-11-05T13:23:42.000ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIan
<p>"Forum Komunikasi Peduli Anak" is community initiative in Bandung that positions itself as a welcoming resource for children-at-risk. On 31 March 2015, 15 neighbours who were concerned about prostitution among the young decided to do something. They were parents themselves and felt a sense of duty to extend themselves to other children in their midst who lacked a sense of stability and were making poor choices. They held the belief that once someone becomes aware of a problem, not doing…</p>
<p>"Forum Komunikasi Peduli Anak" is community initiative in Bandung that positions itself as a welcoming resource for children-at-risk. On 31 March 2015, 15 neighbours who were concerned about prostitution among the young decided to do something. They were parents themselves and felt a sense of duty to extend themselves to other children in their midst who lacked a sense of stability and were making poor choices. They held the belief that once someone becomes aware of a problem, not doing anything would make him or her complicit in sustaining the problem.<br/> <br/>Usman the leader leaves his home unlocked and anyone seeking support or just a friendly face may wander in as they please. Together with other volunteers, he outreaches to the children, offering information on health, education and useful resources, a non-judgmental presence and of course his address. Since they began, the group has supported some 60 children and it continues to provide education and care to several. It also run seminars for their community on topics such as HIV, substance dependency and reproductive health.<br/> <br/>When asked about the sustainability of such voluntary efforts, Usman replied that it was his belief that as long as there are needs to be met, a community will do the necessary. He had every confidence that the children who had benefitted will help others when they become in position to do so. A few in their late teens are already doing so and were present during our visit. It was a meaningful visit where we got to appreciate how a community identifies a shared concern, envisions a dream that is in the service of others and acts on it.</p>
<p>Our learning would not have been half as fruitful if not for Zuraidah, a local volunteer who was with us at the learning festival. Her questions elicited thoughtful responses from our hosts and gratitude from ourselves. Her sense of humour broke the ice and removed the barriers to meaningful communication. It felt like we were visiting old friends and there was not an awkward moment throughout. After the visit, Zuraidah commented that those who are affected by a problem are the very people who are best-placed to resolve it. "The best problem solvers are those who will have a better life when their problem is no more," she elaborated and added "FKPA also succeeds because they have a dream that would make their community a better place." <br/> <br/>Zuraidah shared that 5 years ago, her neighbours and her participated in a dream building exercise for their neighboourhhod. She remembered that it was at Changi Cove and part of the process was to express one's personal dreams. She put down 3 dreams; a bigger home for her family, a job and a chance to further her education. Then on a scale of 1 to 5, she scored 1 for the likelihood of her dreams coming through. Nonetheless, she grudgingly penned the steps she would attempt in the direction of her dreams. <br/> <br/>Today, Zuraidah holds a job as a Healthcare Assistant visiting older people at their home and she has been regularly attending training programmes that enable her to take on more complex tasks at work. A few months ago, she also moved into a bigger home with her husband and 4 children. The visit to FKPA reminded her of the "power of a shared dream." Life had gotten better for her family and her because she decided to work toward her dreams. "I go to work everyday like it is the most normal thing to do but 5 years ago, I could not even imagine attending an interview. It looked like such a difficult thing to do when I had so many problems to deal with. But when my husband and I began working on a shared dream, we found so many people along the way to help us."<br/> <br/>Though having moved out of the Lengkok Bahru neighbourhood, Zuraidah remains a key volunteer in supporting her old neighbourhood's dreams. She is currently a bouncing board for a mother who wants to offer stay-home mothers sewing lessons and eventually small sewing jobs. "I joined a mutual help group to tackle my family problems but then I realised the more I got involved with the community, I became stronger and my life got better. People say I am helping others, but I know I am also helping myself."</p>Celebrating the Local Response as an Important Resource for the Communitytag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2017-02-23:2028109:BlogPost:1591142017-02-23T01:52:20.000ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIan
<p><b>Celebrating the Local Response as an Important Resource for the Community</b></p>
<p><b>– a SALT approach for the transfer of local response</b></p>
<p>Beyond Social Services, Singapore</p>
<p>December 2016</p>
<p><b>Our Reflection</b></p>
<p>Everything has a life span. All groups and their endeavours who wish to remain relevant would do well to picture themselves within a life cycle from inception to closing. Stages in between would be development, maturity and redefining relevance. We…</p>
<p><b>Celebrating the Local Response as an Important Resource for the Community</b></p>
<p><b>– a SALT approach for the transfer of local response</b></p>
<p>Beyond Social Services, Singapore</p>
<p>December 2016</p>
<p><b>Our Reflection</b></p>
<p>Everything has a life span. All groups and their endeavours who wish to remain relevant would do well to picture themselves within a life cycle from inception to closing. Stages in between would be development, maturity and redefining relevance. We felt that the local response in the 5 different neighbourhoods we operate had matured somewhat and we needed to refresh the situation to stall off decline and closing. We are glad to see that by doing so, the number of residents who were willing to assume responsibility and leadership for endeavours in their neighbourhood increased slightly to 133 from 124 this time last year.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>Our Efforts</b></p>
<p><b>1. Facilitating Neighbourhood General Meetings</b></p>
<p>We supported each neighbourhood to organise a general meeting which exhibited the work of their local response over the past 3 years. This work was presented through briefs of past activities, photographs and profiles of local leaders. Posters as well as short video clips were presented by the local response team and in the spirit of a celebration, food and drinks were served. The meeting proper was a conversation that surfaced current concerns and possible action steps</p>
<p><b>2. Compiling Neighbourhood Reports</b></p>
<p>The information collated for these meetings were collated into Neighbourhood Reports with a view of residents receiving a copy to remind them of their collective achievements. Though completed, we received feedback that the initial designs would not go down well. As we wanted it to be a document that the neighbourhood would be proud of, we are currently redesigning them with the help of volunteers.</p>
<p><b>3. Affirming Local Response</b></p>
<p>When we learnt that the President’s Volunteerism & Philanthropy Awards were inviting nominations, we worked with our local response to put in an application for the Kampong Spirit Award which is the Community Spirit Award. None of the 5 neighbourhoods won but we believe that the process of applying reinforced the sense of pride and confidence that strengthens local response.</p>
<p><b>4. Linking Local Responses</b></p>
<p>With the local response in each neighbourhood confident and proud of their achievements, we thought it was timely to introduce them to each other. We held a gathering and explained that coming together was an opportunity to build new friendships where people learnt together and inspired each other. This was well received and members requested for opportunities to develop and learn skills that would help them carry out the work in their neighbourhoods.</p>
<p><b> </b><b>5. Positioning Local Response as an Important Community Resource</b></p>
<p>In supporting families faced with challenges such as the lack of employment, parent-child conflicts, unplanned pregnancies and such, we have called upon members of our local response to advocate for the importance of support from extended family, friends and volunteers from the larger community. By sharing the stories of mutual help as well as their own experiences, the local response provided an assuring and trustworthy presence that encouraged families in difficulties to accept support from their community.</p>
<p><b>Conclusion</b></p>
<p>The narrative that a community is important for our well-being must be constantly nurtured thoughtfully if communities are to inspire positive change. In this light, the local response must be the basic building block and resource for the strengthening of this narrative as well as for any action or plans to be relevant and sustainable. This year, <b>SALT</b> was for us about <b>Strengthening</b> the Local Reponses by <b>Appreciating and Acknowledging</b> their successes. It was also about <b>Linking</b> people together in a mutual learning environment that encouraged the <b>Transfer</b> of knowledge and learnings.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Although our local response in different neighbourhoods achieved success in their work plans, we have come to see that local response is a fragile notion that needs to be safeguarded and nurtured. As facilitators, we are guardians of an environment that encourages the ongoing development of local response and mindful observers of its life cycle. Redefining relevance when needed refreshes the local response and keeps it developing. As such maturity, does not lead to decline but to a humble acknowledgment for change and renewal.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>Appreciating the Nature of Communitytag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2016-02-27:2028109:BlogPost:1517532016-02-27T07:18:04.000ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIan
<p><b><font face="Calibri" size="3">Our Reflection for 2015</font></b></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">Communities are messy. They have to be otherwise they would be organisations. An organisation is a member of a community; either defined by place, association or other kinds of identity. Yet many organisations are established to organise a community; to serve it or to change it in some way. Hence, a part sets the agenda for the larger whole. In a community there are usually several such…</font></p>
<p><b><font face="Calibri" size="3">Our Reflection for 2015</font></b></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">Communities are messy. They have to be otherwise they would be organisations. An organisation is a member of a community; either defined by place, association or other kinds of identity. Yet many organisations are established to organise a community; to serve it or to change it in some way. Hence, a part sets the agenda for the larger whole. In a community there are usually several such organisations; formal and informal with an agenda.</font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">We are such an organisation and if we are to achieve our agenda of social mobility for disadvantaged young people and their families, the very first thing we need to do is to have an appreciation and an authentic respect for the nature of community and the space we have chosen to work in. Community is a space with a common identity and yet a space where many different identities co-exist; sometimes peacefully and sometimes not.</font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">A step toward more humanity requires us to constantly ask ourselves if this peace is achieved through the strict containment or the joyful celebration of differences. We must humbly appreciate that we are part of a larger whole and the sum of the parts can only be more than the whole if we have enlightened partnerships with others. The type of partnerships that believe, “In our differences we grow; in our sameness we connect.”</font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></p>
<p><b><font face="Calibri" size="3">The Work</font></b></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">In the spirit of SALT, we nurtured the space for partnerships to emerge. These partnerships were stimulated by the following questions:</font></p>
<ol>
<li><p>How can neighbours work together to support single-parent families with young children?</p>
</li>
<li><p>How can families become involved in their children’s education in ways that contribute to their success?</p>
</li>
<li><p>What can we do as neighbours to keep our children and youth away from drugs?</p>
</li>
<li><p>What can we do to get youths to attend school?</p>
</li>
<li><p>How to stop youths loitering & disturbing residents in the neighbourhood?</p>
</li>
</ol>
<p><font face="Calibri"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">Nurturing this space was a constant application of SALT not just in a group setting but with individuals and organisations during incidental and formal meetings as well as during outreach, research, forum theatre, social activities and after experience reflections.</font></p>
<p><b><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></b></p>
<p><b><font face="Calibri" size="3">Conclusion</font></b></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">It is not our differences that tear us apart but our inability to appreciate them. Genuine appreciation of differences requires a willingness from all to be influenced when participating in a discussion. Often minor adjustments based on mutual respect, where there is learning and openness to other perspectives, enable people from different backgrounds to acknowledge their sameness and to strengthen their connections. SALT can be an effective mind-set and practice that improve people’s ability to live with their differences.</font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">Our differences have created a fractured world and peace is more often than not a result of strict containment where people define their territories and build communities along their sameness. A step toward more humanity means that we must always be willing to learn how to connect with those who are different and to celebrate our differences; not just across territories but within them.</font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri"><font size="3">As a practice, SALT is about appreciating differences as strengths, listening to learn, listening to link and most importantly, transferring the insights into a context for personal and collective change to happen. With practice it becomes a habit of the mind and as a mind-set, SALT means coming to terms with the fact that we are also a “difference” that threatens the peace in communities and our larger world. As part of the problem, we have a responsibility to be part of the solution and it begins with our willingness to see, appreciate, learn and think how we can facilitate change toward more humanity. “In our differences we grow; in our sameness we connect” </font><font size="3">is not just a theme but an essential call to action for a peaceful world where people lead meaningful and joyful lives.</font></font></p>
<p></p>Creating a restorative clmate -Part 5tag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2015-07-23:2028109:BlogPost:1477012015-07-23T11:17:35.000ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIan
<p><strong><font face="Calibri" size="3">Conclusion</font></strong></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">The staycation has since become an important milestone/reference point for this neighbourhood who now has a group of residents who regard themselves as the Caring Community who looks after the children in their neighbourhood. The Caring Community tell us that their neighbourhood has changed as the children have responded their guidance. They observed that the children greet the adults and…</font></p>
<p><strong><font face="Calibri" size="3">Conclusion</font></strong></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">The staycation has since become an important milestone/reference point for this neighbourhood who now has a group of residents who regard themselves as the Caring Community who looks after the children in their neighbourhood. The Caring Community tell us that their neighbourhood has changed as the children have responded their guidance. They observed that the children greet the adults and contact them when they have disagreements among themselves or with some neighbours. As such, many potentially problematic issues are de-escalated are nip in the bud.</font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">This group of residents also advocate strongly for the children. During a year-end celebration, they recommended one of the children for the neighbourhood’s Outstanding Youth Award presented by the Member of Parliament. The organisers protested as they felt that this boy was not deserving of the nomination as he had a bad track record. However, the Caring Community persisted and challenged the Committee to point out one reason why the boy should not be nominated. The organisers could not as the boy was on his best behaviour the past year and played a big part in encouraging his friends to attend school and to stay out of trouble.</font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">On the whole, the children are no longer deemed to be problematic by their neighbours. One important reason is that they have developed a relationship with the adults and this enables everyone to have a sense that issues or problems identified can be resolved amicably among neighbours.</font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">Many services “medicalise” problems; make a diagnosis and offer a treatment. We have chosen to “humanise” problem and regard them as opportunities to rally people to build a social integrated society. A socially integrated society is not about getting people to change but getting people to be more accepting of each other and working toward a common good. “Humanising” a problem is about improving the quality of our lives by improving the quality of our relationships.</font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></p>Creation a restorative climate - Part 4tag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2015-07-23:2028109:BlogPost:1479242015-07-23T11:16:58.000ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIan
<ol>
<li><p><b>Describe a desired outcome from your intervention and how you would go about trying to reach it.</b></p>
</li>
</ol>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">Our desired outcome is a restorative climate in the neighbourhood and we adopt the following position overview:</font><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri"><font size="3">To nurture neighbourhoods that adopt a restorative problem-solving approach toward young offenders and families with multiple…</font></font></p>
<ol>
<li><p><b>Describe a desired outcome from your intervention and how you would go about trying to reach it.</b></p>
</li>
</ol>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">Our desired outcome is a restorative climate in the neighbourhood and we adopt the following position overview:</font><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri"><font size="3">To nurture neighbourhoods that adopt a restorative problem-solving approach toward young offenders and families with multiple problems. Residents will identify problems and take ownership of initiatives to address them in cooperation with volunteers and other stakeholders such as grassroots organizations, the police, schools and so forth.</font></font><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">Success is the ability to keep both the local and larger communities inspired in supporting their vulnerable members and in addressing the issues affecting this group. </font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">Our focus areas are:</font><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></p>
<ol>
<li><p><b>Problem identification</b></p>
<p>To cultivate support among residents for restorative problem solving so that social issues and problems can be identified early and resolved within the community without the need for interventions from the authorities where possible and appropriate.</p>
</li>
<li><p><b>Mobilising cooperation</b> <b>around a problem</b> To rally support among and enable residents, friends and volunteers to address the concerns arising from the issue at hand and to neutralise the underlying causes. To reiterate that this cooperation is an important effort in putting things right, repairing relationships and community building.</p>
</li>
<li><p><b>Project Management</b></p>
</li>
</ol>
<ol>
<li><p>To enable good intentions and aspirations to translate into meaningful initiatives that benefit young people and contribute towards a restorative climate in the neighbourhood. </p>
<p>Project management loosely follows the following process: </p>
<p><b>The Community Life Competence Process</b></p>
</li>
</ol>
<table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0">
<tbody><tr><td><p></p>
</td>
<td><p><a href="http://www.communitylifecompetence.org/en/pages/36-common-vision"></a><span style="line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;"><a href="http://www.communitylifecompetence.org/en/pages/36-common-vision"></a></span><span style="line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;"><br/>Where do we want to be?</span></p>
<p><span style="line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;">Where are we now?</span></p>
<p><span style="line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;">How will we get there?</span></p>
<p><span style="line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;">Action!</span></p>
<p><span style="line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;">Are we making progress</span></p>
<p><span style="line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;">We learn and share<br/></span></p>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></p>
<p></p>Creating a restorative climate - Part 3tag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2015-07-23:2028109:BlogPost:1478032015-07-23T11:11:27.000ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIan
<p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3">In the spirt of the strengths approach, we also borrow from the Appreciative Inquiry, Solution Focus and Positive Deviance Schools. Below are short notes about these schools compiled by David Shaked in his book Strength-Based Lean Six Sigma – Building positive and engaging business improvement that is published by Kogan Page Limited 2014. Parts have been paraphrased in our own language.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"> 1.…</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3">In the spirt of the strengths approach, we also borrow from the Appreciative Inquiry, Solution Focus and Positive Deviance Schools. Below are short notes about these schools compiled by David Shaked in his book Strength-Based Lean Six Sigma – Building positive and engaging business improvement that is published by Kogan Page Limited 2014. Parts have been paraphrased in our own language.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"> 1.</font> <b>Appreciative Inquiry</b></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">AI is a unique way of asking questions that enable a team or organisation to envisage the future. It releases the immense creativity and resourcefulness that s normally hidden and very rarely tapped in each and every one f us. In doing so, it embraces people’s cacity for collaboration and change.</font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">A typical AI experience follows a 5-stage process focussing on:</font></p>
<ol>
<li><p><b>Define.</b> Identify the appreciative topic to focus and grow.</p>
</li>
<li><p><b>Discover.</b> The exploration of what works (or what has worked) well- the best of “what is”.</p>
</li>
<li><p><b>Dream.</b> The envisioning of what could work well in the future - the best of “What can be”.</p>
</li>
<li><p><b>Design.</b> Planning and prioritising what will actually work well in the future-find ways to move toward the shared dream.</p>
</li>
<li><p><b>Deliver.</b> The implementation of the proposed design,</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Appreciative Inquiry was originally based on the following 5 principles:</p>
<p> <b><font face="Calibri" size="3">Principles of Change</font></b></p>
</li>
</ol>
<div style="margin-left: 2em"><ol start="1">
<li><b>Constructivist</b> – Reality and the future are founded on our own construction, based on our context and fuelled by conversations</li>
</ol>
</div>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></p>
<div style="margin-left: 2em"><ol start="2">
<li><b>Simultaneity</b> – Change starts with the first question/inquiry.</li>
</ol>
</div>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></p>
<div style="margin-left: 2em"><ol start="3">
<li><b>Anticipatory</b> – People and organisations move in the direction of their visions and dreams</li>
</ol>
</div>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></p>
<div style="margin-left: 2em"><ol start="4">
<li><b>Poetic</b> – Organisations are like books, being co-authored at every moment. We have the choice of what we inquire into and freedom to choose what to focus on as we create a path to move forward.</li>
</ol>
</div>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></p>
<div style="margin-left: 2em"><ol start="5">
<li><b>Positive</b> – Choosing the positive as the focus of inquiry releases positive energy that I useful to drive and sustain the change we want to see.</li>
</ol>
</div>
<p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"> 2.</font> <b>Solution Focus</b></p>
<ol>
<li><p>The Solution Focus approach to problem solving does not focus on problems or its root causes. Instead the conversation focuses on what’s wanted and moving toward that future. Here are the key assumptions that underpin solution focussed work:</p>
<p> </p>
</li>
</ol>
<p>Change is happening all the time. Our job is to identify and amplify useful change.</p>
<p>There is no one “right” way of looking at things: different views may fit the facts equally well.</p>
<p>Detailed understanding of the “problem” is usually of little help in arriving at the problem.</p>
<p>No “proble” happens all the time. The direct route lies in identifying what is going on when the problem does not happen.</p>
<p>Clues to the solution are often in front of us and we just need to recognise them</p>
<p>Small change in the right direction can be amplified to great effect.</p>
<p>It is important to stay “solution- focussed” and not “solution-forced.”</p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3">These principles are also captured in the SIMPLE framework by Paul Jackson and Mark McKergrow in their book The Solution Focus (2007).</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"> </font></p>
<p><b>S</b><b>olutions not problems.</b> Focus your work on the solutions not ont eh problems</p>
<p><b>I</b><b>n-between</b>. Interactions is the platform for change. The action is in the interaction.</p>
<p><b>M</b><b>ake use of what is there.</b> Find the strengths, resources and good intentions that are already there.</p>
<p><b>P</b><b>ossibilities</b>. Many solutions are possible. Thery may come from past and present experiences or positive hope and expectations about the future.</p>
<p><b>L</b><b>anguage</b>. Use positive, clear and uncomplicated language.</p>
<p><b>E</b><b>very case is different.</b> Start afresh from here and now and find solutions that fit this case.</p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"> 3.</font> <b>Positive Deviance</b></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">Positive Deviance advocates that in every community or organisation there are a few individuals or groups who have overcome or prevented the problem we wish to solve. In the story the single mom who believed that the children will respond positively to a caring adult was the “positive deviance.”</font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">The positive deviance process has 4 steps referred to as the 4Ds:</font></p>
<ol>
<li><p><b>Define</b> the problem, current perceived causes, challenges, constraints, common practices and desired outcomes.</p>
</li>
<li><p><b>Determine</b> the presence of individuals or groups who form a positive deviant to the problem.</p>
</li>
<li><p><b>Discove</b>r uncommon but successful behaviours and strategies through inquiry and observation.</p>
</li>
<li><p><b>Design</b> activities to allow community members to practice the discovered behaviours.</p>
</li>
</ol>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">There are also 9 guiding principles:</font></p>
<p>The system (community or organisation) owns the entire process</p>
<p>All who are part of the problem are part of the solution. “Do not do anything about me without me!”</p>
<p>The system discovers existing uncommon, successful behaviours and strategies. (Positive Deviance Inquiry.)</p>
<p>The system, designs ways to practice and amplify success unleashing innovations from within.</p>
<p>Members of the system recognise that “someone just like me” can get results even in the worst situations (evidence from within).</p>
<p>Positive Deviance emphasises practice instead of knowledge. “You are more likely to act your way into a new way of thinking than to think your way into a new way of acting.”</p>
<p>The system creates its own benchmarks and monitors progress.</p>
<p>Positive Deviance is rooted in deep respect for members of the system and believes in the ability of the community to lead the change.</p>
<p>The Positive Deviance process expands existing networks and creates new ones.</p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></p>Creating a restorative climate - Part 2tag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2015-07-23:2028109:BlogPost:1478492015-07-23T11:06:46.000ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIan
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">…continued</font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font><font face="Calibri" size="3">Despite their seemingly negative view of the situation 12 mothers showed up at a meeting to explore how they may assist these children. We were pleased with the turnout and began by reiterating the purpose of the meeting. However, despite everyone nodding in understanding, it did not take long for the group to start complaining about the children in the manner they…</font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">…continued</font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font><font face="Calibri" size="3">Despite their seemingly negative view of the situation 12 mothers showed up at a meeting to explore how they may assist these children. We were pleased with the turnout and began by reiterating the purpose of the meeting. However, despite everyone nodding in understanding, it did not take long for the group to start complaining about the children in the manner they usually did. We gathered that they feared approaching these children as different people shared how their attempts to do so failed. Some also feared that the children’s family would accuse them of interfering in their family matters. Neighbour relationships would sour and that would make their daily lives very unpleasant.</font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font><font face="Calibri" size="3">Thankfully, 2 single mothers who were sisters joined the meeting. They were late as they had come from work and after listening for a few minutes; one of them said “You are talking wrongly to these children. They are fighting you because you are scolding them.” It was tensed moment and we quickly intervened, “I am not sure if I understand you. Perhaps you could say more.” This person then shared her view that these children probably needed adults to treat them well. The fact that they are out of their home probably means that they do not talk to their care-givers very much. She was sure that if an adult spoke to them nicely, they would respond positively.</font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font><font face="Calibri" size="3">That changed the mood of the meeting and people started talking about the importance of healthy social and recreational activities for the children. We listed the activities on the board and helped them narrow it down to a “Family Day” as the first thing they wanted to do. We then got the meeting to schedule a date and we introduced a project management framework where they had to think through the necessary actions needed to make the project happen within different deadlines. The people listened attentively as the discussions progressed but we were fearful that we may be overwhelming or intimidating them and so we quickly said that we should just focus on the next step which was to let the children know of our plans and we will meet after that.</font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font><font face="Calibri" size="3">It was decided that the mother who spoke up for the children was the natural choice to approach the children and after setting the deadline for her to do so, we ended the meeting. Over refreshments, we got people to exchange phone numbers. We also shared how impressed we were by their concern for their children and thanked them for allowing us to be part of their plans.</font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font><font face="Calibri" size="3">After 3 months of shared responsibility with this group of mothers, we succeeded in getting 53 families on a weekend stay at a hotel. 83 care-givers and 170 children enjoyed a rare “staycation” where they got to know each other better. The families checked-in on Friday and various activities were held to get people talking, playing and basically mixing with each other. On Sunday morning, an elderly lady who had felt threatened by the children told us that the “children are not so bad after all. They served me during meals and they actually sing quite well.” The comment from this lady assured us that we were on the right track.</font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font><b><font face="Calibri" size="3">Responses to the Discussion Points</font></b></p>
<ol>
<li><p><b>Possible and Probable Social Service Interventions in Singapore</b></p>
</li>
</ol>
<div style="margin-left: 2em"><ul>
<li>Case Management with a view of child neglect</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="margin-left: 2em"><ul>
<li>Family counselling</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="margin-left: 2em"><ul>
<li>Referral to the Child Guidance Clinic to developmental assessment</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="margin-left: 2em"><ul>
<li>Outreaching youth social work</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="margin-left: 2em"><ul>
<li>Residential care for children</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="margin-left: 2em"><ul>
<li>Persuading family to file a Beyond Parental Control Order with the Family Court</li>
</ul>
</div>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"> 2.</font> <b>As an organisation guided by the helping principles below, what indeed can be an alternative to calling the authorities and sending the children to an institution?</b></p>
<p><font face="Calibri"><font size="3">We utilised the community development approach which assumes that for any serious and sustainable change to occur, help must come from within the community—individuals, family members and wider communities. This is because an activated community is more in touch with the complexity of family situations and cultures, and can do more than prescribe standardized treatments based on typical diagnoses.</font></font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">In the situation presented, we reframed the community's grouses into concern for the children involved and harnessed the goodwill into efforts that reshape the community as a whole to include children/youth that were marginalized.</font></p>
<p><b>3. What possible working frameworks could guide you in such a situation? Explain the advantages of doing so.</b></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">We adopt the Community Life Competence Process advocated by the Constellation, a network of facilitators who focus helping people gain competence in addressing issues troubling their community. More information is on this link</font> <a href="http://www.communitylifecompetence.org/en/8-community-life-competence-process">http://www.communitylifecompetence.org/en/8-community-life-competence-process</a></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3">As such we believe that the main ingredient for any social programme to succeed is that its intended participants must have a genuine stake in its success. We call this the “local response.” To nurture and continually strengthen the local response we employ the SALT process which is a format for a strengths-based approach. Below is how the Constellation describes SALT</font></p>
<p><b><i><font face="Calibri">When facilitators meet with communities they look for their strengths. They do not start from their weaknesses. We call SALT our mode of interaction with communities.</font></i></b></p>
<p><b><i><font face="Calibri">S : stands for Stimulate, Support<br/> A : stands for Appreciate<br/> L : stands for Listen, Learn and Link<br/> T : stands for Transfer, Team</font></i></b></p>
<p></p>
<p></p>Creating a restorative climate Part 1tag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2015-07-23:2028109:BlogPost:1478472015-07-23T11:02:29.000ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIan
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">Just sharing an exercise we prepared for some social work students. The first part is the challenge and the second , our suggestions and "answers." Thought you may find some of the concepts we took from a Six-Sigma Lean Management book useful.</font></p>
<p><b><font face="Calibri" size="3">Restorative Neighbourhood Project – Beyond Social Services, Singapore</font></b></p>
<p><b><font face="Calibri" size="3">Background</font></b></p>
<p>Beyond Social Services…</p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">Just sharing an exercise we prepared for some social work students. The first part is the challenge and the second , our suggestions and "answers." Thought you may find some of the concepts we took from a Six-Sigma Lean Management book useful.</font></p>
<p><b><font face="Calibri" size="3">Restorative Neighbourhood Project – Beyond Social Services, Singapore</font></b></p>
<p><b><font face="Calibri" size="3">Background</font></b></p>
<p>Beyond Social Services is a charity dedicated to reducing delinquency among children and youths from less privileged backgrounds. Our target population resides in government rental housing areas dedicated for the low-income. <font face="Calibri" size="3">The families we are in touch with are from the lower end of the low-income spectrum, having a per capita income of $180 to $240 per month which is way below the $450 to $550 per capita income required for any social assistance in Singapore.</font><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">Singapore’s housing policy encourages home-ownership as an asset that can be liquidated for expenses during retirement. By and large the policy has worked well as citizens aspire to own homes and there are only 258 rental flats across the country for those unable to participate in the home ownership programme. Beyond’s work is with 27 such flats and the situation below happened within a neighbourhood of 3 blocks with a total of 1080 households.</font><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3">The children mentioned live in the neighbourhood and we have been told by their neighbours that they are often hanging around because there is probably not enough space at home. Their parents are often not at home and when they are, they are quite happy to have their children out of the flat as they need their rest and privacy. Residents perceived these parents as irresponsible, unfriendly and even argumentative when appr </font></p>
<p><b><font face="Calibri" size="3">Discussion</font></b></p>
<div style="margin-left: 2em"><ol start="1">
<li>Singapore has a well organised social service infrastructure of 48 Family Service Centres spread out across the country that are run by Voluntary Welfare Organisations and funded by the government. There are also 20 Social Service Offices run by the Ministry of Social and Family Development that serve as touch points for the less privileged. Perhaps, this social service infrastructure has similarities in Sweden but how do you think social services would respond to children engaged in risky behaviours such as inhalant abuse, truancy from school and such? <a href="http://app.msf.gov.sg/Assistance/Multiple-Lines-of-Assistance#box03"><font color="#0000FF">http://app.msf.gov.sg/Assistance/Multiple-Lines-of-Assistance#box03</font></a></li>
</ol>
</div>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"> 2 </font> As an organisation guided by the helping principles below, what indeed can be an alternative to calling the authorities and sending the children to an institution?</p>
<table width="575" border="0" cellspacing="0">
<tbody><tr><td valign="top"><p align="center"><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></p>
</td>
<td valign="top"><p><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></p>
<br />
<ul>
<li><font size="3">·</font> <font face="Calibri" size="3">We must not act on behalf of people where there is a potential conflict of interest.</font></li>
<li><font size="3">·</font> <font face="Calibri" size="3">It is in the best interests of children to remain with their families. Residential care must always be a short-term arrangement.</font></li>
<li><font size="3">·</font> <font face="Calibri" size="3">Help should build on people's strengths and not simply remedy their weaknesses.</font></li>
<li><font size="3">·</font> <font face="Calibri" size="3">A helping relationship is a respectful partnership between us and the people we engage.</font></li>
<li><font size="3">·</font> <font face="Calibri" size="3">Social problems are best resolved within the community and we avoid criminal or judiciary proceedings where possible.</font></li>
<li><font size="3">·</font> <font face="Calibri" size="3">The essence of family life is co-operation, not togetherness.</font></li>
</ul>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"> 3.</font> What possible working frameworks could guide you in such a situation? Explain the advantages of doing so.</p>
<p>4. Describe a desired outcome from your intervention and how you would go about trying to reach it.</p>
<p><font face="Calibri" size="3"><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"> </font></font></p>
<p> </p>
<p></p>
<p></p>Integration is better rehabilitation than isolationtag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2015-02-06:2028109:BlogPost:1442752015-02-06T01:12:29.000ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIan
<p><font size="3">A 15 year old girl, whom we will call Nancy, came by to our office in her school uniform this afternoon looking rather cheerful. It was her way of saying thank you and letting us know that all is well with her. Last December, she was ordered to spend 2 weeks confined at the Singapore Girls Home as a slap on the wrist for breaching her supervision order. The judge told her that it could have been 18 months if not for her voluntary work which we described in our…</font></p>
<p><font size="3">A 15 year old girl, whom we will call Nancy, came by to our office in her school uniform this afternoon looking rather cheerful. It was her way of saying thank you and letting us know that all is well with her. Last December, she was ordered to spend 2 weeks confined at the Singapore Girls Home as a slap on the wrist for breaching her supervision order. The judge told her that it could have been 18 months if not for her voluntary work which we described in our report. </font><font size="3"> </font></p>
<p><font size="3">Since birth, Nancy has been in the care of her grandparents. Four years ago, her grandfather who was the main breadwinner had to stop working because of health reasons. Making ends meet on grandmother’s income as a part-time cleaner was difficult and Nancy told us that she disliked the sombre mood at home and listening to the worries of her grandparents. Nonetheless, she remained respectful to her grandparents but experienced a sense of loneliness that got stronger day by day. Unfortunately, in her quest for companionship she found herself with a substance abuse habit and a string of offences that felt like a rope around her neck.</font><font size="3"> </font></p>
<p><font size="3">Nancy told us that once she got caught by the police, she felt even lonelier as no one seemed to believe that she was sorry or would like to make amends. Hence, it was not long before she was up to her nonsense and down in the dock. Breaching a supervision order is serious and even Nancy was resigned to being institutionalised. However, we proceeded to draw up a care and supervision plan that we could propose to the Court. We figured that it was the least we could do to impress on Nancy that there were people who cared for her. Three mothers from her neighbourhood responded to our invitation to discuss the matter with her grandparents and her. During the meeting, Nancy spoke honestly about her loneliness and struggles. She suggested getting a job to increase the family income but all the adults insisted that she remained in school. Her neighbours then offered to assist her grandparents with their household chores and created a schedule for Nancy to spend time with their families.</font><font size="3"> </font></p>
<p><font size="3">We have always known Nancy as someone who enjoyed helping out with the activities in her neighbourhood. Volunteering gave her a sense of purpose, an opportunity to exercise leadership and to be connected with others. We are glad that judge took the chance of allowing Nancy to continue being an active member of her neighbourhood; taking the view that integration is better rehabilitation that isolation.</font></p>
<p><font size="3">Gerard</font></p>
<p><font size="3"> </font></p>
<p><b><i><font size="3">“The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. It is human connection.” – Johann Hari</font></i></b></p>
<p><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/johann-hari/the-real-cause-of-addicti_b_6506936.html" target="_blank"><font color="#0000FF" size="3">http://www.huffingtonpost.com/johann-hari/the-real-cause-of-addicti_b_6506936.html</font></a></p>
<p></p>The significance of our small moments of successtag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2014-12-03:2028109:BlogPost:1431212014-12-03T11:55:08.000ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIan
<p style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif';"><font size="3">We were heartened that 35 parents responded to our call to be part of a team tasked with the challenge of addressing a concern or problem in their neighbourhood. With the help of Kiran Kandade a volunteer facilitator, we introduced the Appreciative Inquiry framework as a way of building a team around what works rather than trying to fix what does not.…</font></span></p>
<p style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif';"><font size="3">We were heartened that 35 parents responded to our call to be part of a team tasked with the challenge of addressing a concern or problem in their neighbourhood. With the help of Kiran Kandade a volunteer facilitator, we introduced the Appreciative Inquiry framework as a way of building a team around what works rather than trying to fix what does not.</font></span></p>
<p style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif';"><font size="3"> </font></span><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif';"><font size="3">“Share with us a significant episode in your life,” led 2 fathers to declare that it was the day they met their wives. They elaborated that after years of repeated skirmishes with the law that began during their teenage years, they now live only for their family. Participants were discussing in small groups and to encourage mutual learning within the entire room, every small group had to present their significant episode in a skit. It was hilarious how one of the fathers re-enacted the day he met his wife in the train but after the laughter had died down, the significant message from him was that relationships are important and we need to constantly value and nurture them.</font></span></p>
<p style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif';"><font size="3"> </font></span><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif';"><font size="3">A mother of 3 from another group spoke about the period when her family was homeless 7 years ago. The situation exacerbated when her husband’s workplace wound up and he could not find work immediately. She sought rental housing but after repeated visits to the relevant authorities, her situation did not improve. Out of desperation, she plucked up the courage to send an email to the Prime Minister and the following day, she got the keys to her current flat. Her message to the other participants was the importance of perseverance in the face of difficulties. She also shared that she does her best to volunteer because she knows that when people are in a bad shape, a small gesture of support is significant.</font></span></p>
<p style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif';"><font size="3"> </font></span><font size="3"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif';">A father recalled a day when his son was 8 years old. The boy had come home from school crying because of harsh comments his teacher had made about his composition. He took a look at the piece of work and realised where the teacher was coming from but felt strongly that his son needed support and encouragement rather than admonishing. So he visited the teacher to express his views and was glad he did so because he found the teacher to be a reasonable person who acknowledged that he was having a bad day and apologised for his mistake. More importantly, his gesture was significant because it assured his son that his family and school were there to help him learn. His son is now 26 years old and working as a</span> <span lang="EN-SG" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif'; mso-ansi-language: EN-SG;" xml:lang="EN-SG">Medical Technologies Officer. This father believes that meeting the teacher 18 years ago helped to steer significant support his son’s way.</span></font></p>
<p style="background: white;"><span lang="EN-SG" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif'; mso-ansi-language: EN-SG;" xml:lang="EN-SG"><font size="3">Significant episodes in our lives energise us and our next step is to link this energy to an agenda for change. Positive change is most likely when our members are active participants in change initiatives and are not simply passive beneficiaries.</font></span></p>
<p style="background: white;"><span lang="EN-SG" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif'; mso-ansi-language: EN-SG;" xml:lang="EN-SG"><font size="3"> </font></span><span lang="EN-SG" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif'; mso-ansi-language: EN-SG;" xml:lang="EN-SG"><font size="3">Gerard</font></span></p>
<p style="background: white;"><b><i><span lang="EN-SG" style="color: #4f81bd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif'; mso-ansi-language: EN-SG;" xml:lang="EN-SG"><font size="3"> </font></span></i></b><b><i><span lang="EN-SG" style="color: #4f81bd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif'; mso-ansi-language: EN-SG;" xml:lang="EN-SG"><font size="3">“I feel the capacity to care is the thing which gives life its deepest significance.” - Pablo Casals</font></span></i></b></p>
<p></p>A conference about community must involve the communitytag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2014-08-30:2028109:BlogPost:1404962014-08-30T17:10:34.000ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIan
<div style="margin-top: 14pt; margin-bottom: 14pt;"><font color="#1F497D" face="Trebuchet MS,sans-serif" size="3"><span lang="en-SG" style="font-size: 12pt;" xml:lang="en-SG"><font color="#1F497D" face="Trebuchet MS,sans-serif" size="3"><span lang="en-SG" style="font-size: 12pt;" xml:lang="en-SG">My colleagues and I had the privilege of contributing towards a breakout session at the Social Mission Conference organised by Caritas Singapore last Saturday. Together with Hope House who provides a…</span></font></span></font></div>
<div style="margin-top: 14pt; margin-bottom: 14pt;"><font color="#1F497D" size="3" face="Trebuchet MS,sans-serif"><span style="font-size: 12pt;" lang="en-SG" xml:lang="en-SG"><font color="#1F497D" size="3" face="Trebuchet MS,sans-serif"><span style="font-size: 12pt;" lang="en-SG" xml:lang="en-SG">My colleagues and I had the privilege of contributing towards a breakout session at the Social Mission Conference organised by Caritas Singapore last Saturday. Together with Hope House who provides a safe residential environment for youth development, we were asked to share some insights on the topic of youths-at-risk.</span></font></span></font></div>
<div style="margin-top: 14pt; margin-bottom: 14pt;"><font color="#1F497D" size="3" face="Trebuchet MS,sans-serif"><span style="font-size: 12pt;" lang="en-SG" xml:lang="en-SG">When we were approached early this year, we expressed that such conferences should involve and include the very people that will be at the centre of the conversation. We recommended that for our breakout session, we should have conference participants to actually meet and talk with “youths at risk.” Otherwise, participants will be talking about these youths behind their backs instead of involving them as part of the solution. Also, as the helping relationship is a partnership, we would give participants the experience of talking with youths instead of talking about them.</span></font></div>
<div style="margin-top: 14pt; margin-bottom: 14pt;"><font color="#1F497D" size="3" face="Trebuchet MS,sans-serif"><span style="font-size: 12pt;" lang="en-SG" xml:lang="en-SG">We were grateful that Caritas decided to go along with our recommendation and we began inviting youths from Hope House and our neighbourhoods to participate in this breakout session. We explained that we needed their help to create a mutual learning experience involving adults and youths. We elaborated that we needed them to be part of a conversation where people remained respectful to each other despite their differing views. Finally, we stressed that we wanted them to respond honestly during the conversation and they were not there to sing our praises.</span></font></div>
<div style="margin-top: 14pt; margin-bottom: 14pt;"><font color="#1F497D" size="3" face="Trebuchet MS,sans-serif"><span style="font-size: 12pt;" lang="en-SG" xml:lang="en-SG">Not every young person we spoke to was willing to participate. Some told us that they would be most uncomfortable being with a group of strangers while others revealed that they would probably be tongue tied. Anyway, 23 youths eventually made it to the conference and they joined 8 different talking circles that reflected on the question: “Do you want to be in a position to fix youths or do you want to be able to support them as they make the important decisions in their lives?”</span></font></div>
<div style="margin-top: 14pt; margin-bottom: 14pt;"><font color="#1F497D" size="3" face="Trebuchet MS,sans-serif"><span style="font-size: 12pt;" lang="en-SG" xml:lang="en-SG">To the surprise of the adults in one talking circle, a youth shared that he often wished someone could simply fix him. He realised that he was often engaging in risky behaviours and he would like someone to fix him before he got into very serious trouble. At another circle, a youth expressed that listening is very important and that youths want their parents and adults to listen to what they had to say. The consensus at the session was that youths needed support rather than fixing but many also realised that offering a supportive presence may not be so easy.</span></font></div>
<div style="margin-top: 14pt; margin-bottom: 14pt;"><font color="#1F497D" size="3" face="Trebuchet MS,sans-serif"><span style="font-size: 12pt;" lang="en-SG" xml:lang="en-SG">For us, it was an important experience for the youths to be part of the conference. Social integration should be a 2 way street where the people from diverse backgrounds are actively reaching out to each other. At the end of the breakout session, I had a sense that participants young and old felt a little more comfortable with each other simply because they had listened and spoken to each other with much respect.</span></font></div>
<div style="margin-top: 14pt; margin-bottom: 14pt;"><font color="#1F497D" size="3" face="Trebuchet MS,sans-serif"><span style="font-size: 12pt;" lang="en-SG" xml:lang="en-SG"><font color="#4F81BD" size="3" face="Trebuchet MS,sans-serif"><span style="font-size: 12pt;" lang="en-SG" xml:lang="en-SG"><b><i>“A single conversation across the table with a wise person is worth a month's study of books” - Chinese Proverb</i></b></span></font></span></font></div>
<div style="margin-top: 14pt; margin-bottom: 14pt;"></div>Exploring Community Life Competence in SIngapore 22-24 Aug 2013tag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2013-09-04:2028109:BlogPost:1257912013-09-04T03:16:06.000ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIan
<p>From 22 to 24 August 2013, 55 persons were learning together and exploring CLCP in Singapore. Leading the group were JL and Sanghamitra. 5 were residents from neighbourhoods practicing SALT, 9 from Singapore community organisations, 11 community facilitators from India, Indonesia and Belgium and 30 community workers & volunteers from Beyond Social Services. Below is a snapshot of the SALT Visits that happened.</p>
<p> <br></br>The opportunity to journey with others as they deal with…</p>
<p>From 22 to 24 August 2013, 55 persons were learning together and exploring CLCP in Singapore. Leading the group were JL and Sanghamitra. 5 were residents from neighbourhoods practicing SALT, 9 from Singapore community organisations, 11 community facilitators from India, Indonesia and Belgium and 30 community workers & volunteers from Beyond Social Services. Below is a snapshot of the SALT Visits that happened.</p>
<p> <br/>The opportunity to journey with others as they deal with their daily challenges is a privilege that we must never take for granted. Every one we meet has a story that inspires or saddens us and sometimes, one that does both at the same time. As we listen to these stories, we enter lives we would never live but yet we would find something important or meaningful in these lives that we would resonate with.</p>
<p><br/>"I was so embarrassed to see my children jumping around like monkeys when I followed them to ukulele class early this year but last week when I saw them perform, I could not believe they were my children." Others laughed and nodded as they heard this during a meeting of parents gathered to support each other and to look out for the children in their neighbourhood. Another mother shared that she was most surprised when her children listened attentively to her when she got them to help her in the kitchen. To her delight they carried out her instructions with care and accuracy. To this, a mother commented that parents should be appreciating their children more adding that when parents trust their children they usually respond well.</p>
<p><br/>Last Thursday, we were at 5 different neighbourhood meetings and it was a joy listening and appreciating how people were helping themselves and their friends. We take heart that language and ethnicity were not barriers to the honest and personal sharing within the different groups. People translated for each other and were ever ready to offer a helping hand. There was concrete support like job referrals but no less important were the gentle reminders of how people have stuck out for each other.</p>
<p><br/>A mother of 4 was close to tears as she related the difficult week she was having and a stranger listening would be concerned if she could still cope. She came across discouraged and helpless but she was just lightening her heavy heart. All changed dramatically when she was reminded that if not for her, her neighbour's 5 young children will not be having 3 meals a day. When others realised she was helping a neighbour who was ill despite her own challenges, they gave her a round of applause and took turns to pat her on the back. Her strength returned instantly when she remembered that she was still fortunate enough to be able to care for others.</p>
<p><br/>Our work requires us to discover how people are helping themselves and to find ways to support and further their efforts. It begins with appreciating what's right with others and perhaps more importantly, appreciating that like everyone else we too have strengths and weakness.</p>
<p>Gerard<br/><b><i>"Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well." - Voltaire</i></b></p>Community in our midsttag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2013-01-25:2028109:BlogPost:1122862013-01-25T14:05:41.000ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIan
<p>A colleague was relating to me his experience of accompanying a 10 year boy to visit his father at Changi Prison. He was the chaperon but when he got to the prison, it was the boy who was showing him the ins and outs of the visitation process. It was the first time for our colleague but this child had been there previously. Our colleague shared that it was discomforting to see so many families in the waiting area. Many were with infants in arm and children in tow. It was also humbling to…</p>
<p>A colleague was relating to me his experience of accompanying a 10 year boy to visit his father at Changi Prison. He was the chaperon but when he got to the prison, it was the boy who was showing him the ins and outs of the visitation process. It was the first time for our colleague but this child had been there previously. Our colleague shared that it was discomforting to see so many families in the waiting area. Many were with infants in arm and children in tow. It was also humbling to see how these families continued to love and honour their members despite their errors.</p>
<p>Our colleague then shared that visiting the prison was not exactly a pleasant experience and the awkward meeting between father and son was really sad. Credit to the father for trying to keep the conversation alive. He kept giving positive advice and even joked that his son was now a “fat boy” as he was well cared for by his foster parents. Towards the end, both father and son did a high-five and their palms remained in contact for a good 2 minutes, albeit separated by a thick glass panel. As the speakers were turn off when visiting time was up, both father and son walked away reluctantly.</p>
<p>“Wasn’t there something positive about the visit?” I asked. “Well, the prison guards were quite friendly and they treated the boy gently. They also tried their best to be helpful,” our colleague replied after a few moments of thought. As we work on the basis that problems are not opportunities for delivering a service but opportunities for community building, I asked “Was there any element of how the community was helpful?” Our colleague did not answer me immediately and continued to elaborate on what Changi Prison was like but eventually I was touched by what he shared.</p>
<p>When he and the boy got into a cab outside Changi Prison, the taxi-driver was initially quiet after asking where they had wanted to go. But after a few minutes, the taxi-driver could not help himself and asked them what were they doing standing outside Changi Prison. When he learnt that the boy had just visited his father and the length of the father’s sentence, he skilfully moved the conversation beyond the current sad situation, “Wahl! When your father comes out, you will be in N.S (National Service). already. He will be so proud to see his son serving Singapore.” The boy smiled and started making small talk with the taxi-driver. </p>
<p>The visit happened just before Christmas as our colleague thought that it would have been a nice “gift” for both father and son to meet. He never imagined that a taxi-driver would also bring the boy a “present.” The small talk was centred on Christmas and to everyone’s delight and amusement, the taxi-driver burst into a rendition of “Jingle Bells” which had the boy singing along and squealing with laughter. The lovely thing was that the taxi-driver changed the lyrics to include the words “father, mother, brother, sister and family.” To the tune of the chorus, he sang “Family, family. What is family? Father, mother, brother, sister, this is family!”</p>
<p>We will never know if it was because he did not know the original lyrics but one thing we do know is that he cared enough to love this child.</p>
<p>Enjoy your weekend.</p>
<p>Gerard</p>
<p><b><i>We have all known the long loneliness and we have learned that the only solution is love and that love comes with community. - Dorothy Day</i></b></p>Community needs leaders worth their salttag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2012-10-10:2028109:BlogPost:1064912012-10-10T08:00:00.000ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIan
<p><b>Communities need leaders worth their salt</b></p>
<p>In a week or so, I would have spent 30 years as a paid staff in the social services with the same organisation. Before that, I had a 6 month stint in a non-profit where I was organising community service activities in neighbourhoods for 2 days a week. Of course it has not been the same job and I grew with an organisation that had 4 paid staff including myself when I joined to one with 102 today that I lead. I have been in this…</p>
<p><b>Communities need leaders worth their salt</b></p>
<p>In a week or so, I would have spent 30 years as a paid staff in the social services with the same organisation. Before that, I had a 6 month stint in a non-profit where I was organising community service activities in neighbourhoods for 2 days a week. Of course it has not been the same job and I grew with an organisation that had 4 paid staff including myself when I joined to one with 102 today that I lead. I have been in this leadership position for about 15 years now and although I have always endeavoured to build a Community Workplace, I must say that it is only in the past year or so, have I experienced community both in my head and in my heart. Yes, there were periods of community bliss in the past but we were small teams of 6 to 10 persons. </p>
<p>At work, I frequently had colleagues who were from a religious order living as a community among the people the organisation serves. Hence, the word “community” was often heard in conversations among colleagues but it never meant much to those of us who lived a secular life. I began dwelling on the meaning of community only after a volunteer psychiatrist introduced the staff team to the concepts of community as described by M Scott Peck in his book, The Different Drum. This psychiatrist was trying to guide us into becoming a more cooperative team and he spent a few months with us on a weekly basis journeying with us through the phases of community building:</p>
<ol>
<li>Psuedo -Community</li>
<li>Chaos</li>
<li>Emptiness</li>
<li>Community</li>
</ol>
<p>I am not sure if we ever got to phase 4 but it got me interested enough to join as a member of the Foundation of Community Encouragement and I would receive regular newsletters and information on Community Building. So began my quest for understanding, discovering and experiencing the meaning of community. The idea of a non-profit being a community appealed to me and so when I got into a leadership position, I declared that we were going to be a Community Workplace. I must have confused and bored a whole lot of people and was most fortunate for bosses who indulged in my “circular” organizational charts and clichés like “the first among equals.” I guess they were kind enough to regard me as a young unconfident and reluctant leader rather than one out of touch with reality.</p>
<p>Recently, in a casual conversation with an older person who had in the past, pointed me towards philosophies he thought that I was seeking, I said “You know, I believe community comes with age. I could never fully appreciate its value until recently.” Without skipping a beat, he agreed “Younger people are breaking away from their family, their background and are striving to establish themselves as strong independent individuals. The interdependence among members of a community would be hard for them to take.”</p>
<p>I share this recent conversation because a young person breaking away from family and traditions trying to stand strong and different could be a metaphor for professionalized social services. Family and community are a fundamental source of people’s well-being but to maintain its relevance, social services position the professional as knowing better or a superior source of well-being. All things being equal, a young person would probably fair better if he could acknowledge that he has come so far because of his family and community and learns to draw on their support as he seeks to establish himself as a distinct individual. Similarly instead of competing and replacing family and community with professional technology backed by evidence (the results are generally dismal anyway), social services can learn to cooperate with family and tradition to reclaim, reinvent or rebuild community. The operating tenet for social services must always be to work itself out of a job but each time government spending on social services increases, the sector claps because there will be more jobs in social services. Is such spending on social services alleviating, maintaining or increasing social problems? Are people living better lives within an extensive social service system whose raw materials for growth are their needs and deficiencies?</p>
<p>Over the past 10 years, my organisation has been operating with a staff of 100 to120 and unwittingly, our quest for community gave way to the pursuit of organisational excellence as our world generally understands or promotes. I have come to appreciate that productivity, efficiency, efficacy are important aspects of work but such organisational excellence does not necessary mean we do meaningful and satisfying work that enriches the lives of those we proclaim to serve. Even if we assess that good comes out of such good practices, its sustainability is largely dependent on resources that maintain a highly motivated and skilled team of paid professionals.</p>
<p>Within the sphere of organisational excellence is of course human resource management which often operates on the logic of incentivising the good and de-incentivising the bad. Simply put, rewarding desired outcomes or behaviours and punishing behaviours and outcomes that suggest non-performance. This carrot and stick approach keeps the staff on their toes and is also touted as a motivation technique. It seems to say that people are motivated either by greed or by fear. Perhaps so but is a working environment that perpetuates fear and greed appropriate for getting the best out of helping professionals in the service of others? Is it also desirable that these helping professionals may in turn motivate their service-users with fear and greed? As a leader, one of my key tasks is to nurture a passionate and motivated team. Does it then mean that I will succeed when I can encourage my colleagues to be more greedy and fearful? I would like to think that the social service professional is someone who is motivated by a higher purpose or by reasons other than money and shame.</p>
<p>To clarify, I am of the view that work needs to be well organised and resources utilised prudently. Well-designed and well-thought through systems make work light, productive and possibly even pleasurable. However, it would require more that the logic of prudent management for our human resources to excel. I believe we need our human resources to believe that they are part of a community that exist for purposes beyond themselves. As observed by Peter Block and John McKnight in their book, the Abundant Community; a community has an environment where there is generosity, kindness, cooperation, forgiveness, acceptance of the human condition and mystery. I believe that an important part of motivation is to create such an environment and so my endeavour toward a Community Workplace and my hope that my team brings these properties of a community with us wherever we work.</p>
<p>For me a Community Workplace is one where the quality and sustainability of work produced co-relates with the quality of community experienced by the workers. However we can’t really create a system that predictably brings about a community simply because a system is not a community. A strong community utilises systems to further their purpose but a strong system that is not within a Community Workplace discourages community. Therefore, members of a Community Workplace cannot simply sit back, relax and let the system run if they want to continue enjoying the benefits a community brings. They have to be active members of the community who regard themselves as leaders that maintain, nurture and encourage the relevance of their community. Communities need leaders worth their salt.</p>
<p>Leaders at a Community Workplace cultivate the following qualities within themselves as a way of life:</p>
<table border="1" cellspacing="0">
<tbody><tr><td valign="top" width="85"><p align="center"><b>S</b></p>
</td>
<td valign="top" width="553"><p><b>Self-awareness, self-regulation and strength of response</b></p>
<p>Being a leader is a commitment to self-growth with a view that leadership is really not so much about the size of the job or the opportunity but the strength of one’s response.</p>
</td>
</tr>
<tr><td valign="top" width="85"><p align="center"><b>A</b></p>
</td>
<td valign="top" width="553"><p><b>Adaptive</b></p>
<p>The primary role of the leader is to get people to confront their most pressing challenges. Not doing so usually means hastening the state of dysfunction within a workplace, a team, a community or even a country. There is no road map and leaders embrace the unknown and adapt as they lead.</p>
</td>
</tr>
<tr><td valign="top" width="85"><p align="center"><b>L</b></p>
</td>
<td valign="top" width="553"><p><b>Love of self and being loving towards others</b></p>
<p>This four letter word may be offensive for a system that prides itself on objective, predictable and transparent processes. Yet it is people that have created systems and it is people that work within systems. It is also normal, good and desirable that people need love.</p>
</td>
</tr>
<tr><td valign="top" width="85"><p align="center"><b>T</b></p>
</td>
<td valign="top" width="553"><p><b>Towards a higher purpose</b></p>
<p>A Community Workplace sounds idealistic but whether it can be achieved is not such an important question. Leaders are driven by ideals and recognise that a better world comes about only with such endeavour. </p>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
<p> </p>
<p>Our world is run by systems and we have grown accustomed to the convenience, comfort and assurance they provide. So much so, the logic of organisational excellence in embedded in us and sometimes we cannot imagine that any good can emerge without a system in place. Hence, as a community is not a system, encouraging community is an uphill task that would also require leaders worth their salt.</p>
<p>I have attended meetings where well-intentioned people sincerely want to improve and increase the sense of community among people. When a proposal from the community is received, organisational logic kicks in and concerns such as sustainability, efficacy and efficiency are put forth, often discouraging the proposer. The logic of community is different. Instead of sustainability, we need to value variety and trust that as long an initiative is relevant, it will be sustained. And when it is not, then its relevance may have passed. Efficacy is not so much about the quality of a service but the quality and strength of relationships among people when they care for each other. As for efficiency, we need to ponder why things are not moving as fast as we would like or anticipated. Is the lack of pace really impeding progress or is it slowing down destruction?</p>
<p>Working for community is not just a job but a journey toward a way of life where people care for each other. Hence, as life goes, there is never a straightforward answer and the necessity for leaders who can <b>Stimulate</b> discussions that strengthen relationships; <b>Appreciate</b> other members of the community even when we feel attacked or alienated; <b>Learn and listen</b> to see how it is actually our own load that is slowing us down and <b>Transfer</b> all learning and experiences to one’s own life with the humility of a trainee. This is the never-ending journey for leaders worth their salt.</p>
<p> </p>Loose Ties, Strong Bondstag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2012-03-02:2028109:BlogPost:917312012-03-02T10:50:45.000ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIan
<p>The grand-uncle of 2 children aged 11 and 9 years old immediately took them into his home when he realised that their mother had much difficulty caring for them. “I will definitely have strong words for her when we meet the next time but for now, the children’s well-being come first” he told us. Mother spends most of her time with 3 younger children and these 2 children often have too much time on their own. The tough talking aside, this grand uncle shared that he has no hesitation…</p>
<p>The grand-uncle of 2 children aged 11 and 9 years old immediately took them into his home when he realised that their mother had much difficulty caring for them. “I will definitely have strong words for her when we meet the next time but for now, the children’s well-being come first” he told us. Mother spends most of her time with 3 younger children and these 2 children often have too much time on their own. The tough talking aside, this grand uncle shared that he has no hesitation helping out because the children’s mother had housed him many years ago when he was homeless. Today, it appears that he is experiencing more stability than his niece and so he believes it is only right to return the kindness. In any case, they are family and he values their relationship.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Such support among relatives may not be as consistent as that provided by helping professionals but it has the advantage of bringing about mutual help and the strengthening of loose ties among people. When the dust settles, it will be obvious to mother that her uncle cares and she should find a way to show her appreciation. Such a relationship is rooted in the values and traditions of family and community and social work must find a way of actively supporting these values and traditions. This is hard work and it seems easier to declare that family and community are inadequate and professional helping systems need to step in for children and other vulnerable people. So going forward, what could a vision for social work look like? Is it one where the work leads to strong families and communities or one of massive professional helping systems whose growth is spurred by the ever-increasing complexity of inadequate families and communities? Perhaps in the social service sector, growth is not necessarily good news and less is more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The positive emotions and experiences from last Friday’s Celebration in the Community still linger with me. Several young people between 20 to 25 years old came up to me and other colleagues simply to say hello. They had previously attended our programmes and while some got into trouble with the law after they left us, they are now feeling rather positive about themselves. One young man told me it was good to see us being there for others in his neighbourhood and he will arrange a gathering of all the “old boys” for old times’ sake and to see how they could volunteer. It will be some time before that gathering happens as many are in National Service but some of these old boys who are not, started volunteering this week. They were most energetic as together with other residents and some volunteers from various corporations, they efficiently repacked 526 cartons of food into packets and distributed them to the households in their neighbourhood. These food packets were donations from the public to the Sharity Gift Box last Christmas.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This annual food distribution exercise across 5 neighbourhoods ends tomorrow and it is usually quite messy and exhausting but somehow, it feels like a breeze this year. It is a breeze because it does not feel like work but rather like a gathering of friends doing the right thing for our neighbours. Jean Louis Lamboray who was present at the celebration shared that the event reminded him of the Congolese proverb <span style="color: #3366ff;"><b>"When people celebrate, some serious matter is being handled."</b></span> I can see how that’s true.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Enjoy your weekend.</p>
<p>Gerard</p>
<p><br/> <span style="color: #3366ff;"><b><i>Share our similarities, celebrate our differences. - M. Scott Peck</i></b></span></p>A social worker's problemtag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2012-02-24:2028109:BlogPost:914062012-02-24T11:00:00.000ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIan
<p><strong>“My problem is that as a social worker, I sometimes think that I am a better human being than those I serve.”</strong> A colleague humbly admitted her shortcoming in the presence of 50 other teammates as we grappled with what it meant to be a member of a community. Her sharing reminded me of an important lesson I learnt when I was training as a counsellor. My teacher stressed to me that this work is about “who” we can be for people rather that “what” we can do. Doing something for…</p>
<p><strong>“My problem is that as a social worker, I sometimes think that I am a better human being than those I serve.”</strong> A colleague humbly admitted her shortcoming in the presence of 50 other teammates as we grappled with what it meant to be a member of a community. Her sharing reminded me of an important lesson I learnt when I was training as a counsellor. My teacher stressed to me that this work is about “who” we can be for people rather that “what” we can do. Doing something for people tends to put us in a superior position but perhaps this work is simply about being human and humbly acknowledging that like all humans, we too are capable of much good and bad. If we seek understanding and compassion when we struggle then, it is only natural to do the same when the struggles of others are before us.</p>
<p>This evening we will have the privilege of attending a community celebration where parents and neighbourhood leaders recognise the efforts of some 50 children who are trying their best to stay in school. Not every child is brilliant in school but the adults in their community believe that children needed to be assured that they are well cared for. They reckoned that a child did not have to be extremely successful or problematic to get a community’s attention. A child, like all of us needs attention simply because we are all human. It has been a joy watching how a community pulls together to pull off this celebration. I suppose getting excited about a party and endeavouring to throw an awesome one is also human.</p>
<p>This evening I will be looking forward to meeting the 4 Guests of Honour. These guests will be on stage to present the Certificates of Achievement to the children. There is a 50 year father of 4 who is recovering from a stroke. Although he is being unable to work, he moves around the neighbourhood slowly with a walking stick quietly linking his neighbours to work opportunities and available assistance schemes. His neighbours value him as an important resource in the community. There is also a mother whose children have been placed in care and is determined that other parents in her neighbourhood do not need to experience the pain she is carrying. She helps coordinate a children’s reading programme in her neighbourhood and leads a group of parents who support each other as they keep their children away from substance use. Another mother that will be on stage was someone who did not hesitate to care for her neighbour’s 5 young children when her neighbour was taken ill. Finally, a mother with 7 children who inspired other mothers and the youths to organise themselves into a volunteer group that aspires to keep all children in their neighbourhood in school and out of trouble with the law.</p>
<p> “Zuo ren” is mandarin for “being human” and when Chinese people lament about someone, they sometimes describe that person as someone who does not know how to “zuo ren.” Just 2 words but enough to get us thinking deeply about who want to be for the people around us.</p>
<p>Enjoy your weekend.</p>
<p>Gerard</p>
<p><span style="color: #000000;"><em><strong>Every child, every person needs to know that they are a source of joy; every child, every person, needs to be celebrated. Only when all of our weaknesses are accepted as part of our humanity can our negative, broken self-images be transformed.” - Jean Vanier, Becoming Human</strong></em></span></p>The good that comes with being humantag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2012-01-27:2028109:BlogPost:903302012-01-27T12:00:00.000ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIan
<p>25 persons aged from 13 to 70 turned up when we announced that there will be a meeting for those interested in volunteering. Several of them also brought along the children who were under their care. The children entertained themselves as they left their care-givers to deal with adult matters. Although everyone was living in the same neighbourhood it was the first time several who turned up would be speaking to each other. So we broke the ice with the children’s game “Blow Wind Blow.” …</p>
<p>25 persons aged from 13 to 70 turned up when we announced that there will be a meeting for those interested in volunteering. Several of them also brought along the children who were under their care. The children entertained themselves as they left their care-givers to deal with adult matters. Although everyone was living in the same neighbourhood it was the first time several who turned up would be speaking to each other. So we broke the ice with the children’s game “Blow Wind Blow.” Being more accustomed to working with children and youths, we initially thought that we had made a mistake with the ice-breaker. Young people would usually be zooming pass us whenever we shouted “Blow Wind Blow” but this time it looked to us like we were watching a slow motion video recording of the game. But really, it was an absolute delight to be part of the sporting and respectful way participants played the game. Participants were most encouraging whenever the more mature among them took their own sweet time to change places. Soon everyone was laughing with each other the way friends do.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ground rules to guide group meetings are always important and we took a multi-step process to have them laid out. We distributed some paper hats we had prepared earlier and asked participants to write on the hats, the roles that they generally play in their lives. A colleague led the way by sharing that she was a daughter, sister, a wife and a community worker at Beyond. After everyone had followed suit, they took turns to describe to the entire group what these roles meant to them. When that was over, our colleague asked everyone to throw away their hats. She explained that in the next hour, participants should be speaking to each other from a common position and not from the position of community worker, neighbourhood leader, a respectable grandfather and so forth. She then asked the group if they knew what that common position could be. It did not take very long for participants to catch on as one of them quickly offered an answer. “We are all human!” he exclaimed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This led us to give out large sheets of paper for them to elaborate the meaning of being human. A proud father put the paper on a table and placed his 1 year child on it. With a marker, he drew the outline of his child and said that he would like to list the qualities of a child as he felt that a child represented everything that was humanly good. The group then filled the outline of his child with words such as “love, trust, care, share, loyal, generous, compassion, concern, listening” and so forth. Hence these words became the ground rules for discussion.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Our colleague got the discussion rolling by asking “What motivated you to come for this discussion?” A mother of 8 said that she was new in the neighbourhood and wanted to meet her neighbours while a father of 5 said that he was curious to hear what was going on in his neighbourhood. An elderly lady said that she wanted to be present for her neighbours and was willing to help in any way she could. After hearing everyone out, a father expressed that he was concerned about the youths in the neighbourhood who were hanging around till the wee hours of the morning. He was convinced that it would only be a matter of time before they got onto the wrong side of the law dragging the younger children with them. While this father was genuinely concerned for these youths, the negatives he highlighted resonated with many in the group and the discussion focused on minimising the perceived harm these youths will cause.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A participant then put things in perspective by wondering aloud why these youths preferred the cold of the night to the warmth of their homes. He then suggested that we knew too little of their challenges to be able to comment and we should make the effort to understand more before coming up with solutions. He added that getting the police involved would only push the youths from one place to another and soon they will be so far away that the group will not be able to reach them. The group thought that he made a lot of sense and moved on to brainstorm various ways they could reach these youths. No decisions were made and when we ended the discussion after an hour, many asked us when the next meeting would take place. We told them that it was not for us to say as they were the ones who had to take the lead in creating a caring and compassionate neighbourhood. Our answer sat well with them and they told us that they will discuss among themselves and keep us informed when they call for a meeting after the 15<sup>th</sup> day of the Chinese New Year. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>That evening, our colleagues went home grateful that 25 others will now work with us in caring for the young in their neighbourhood. 25 people who affirmed our belief in the good that comes with being human.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Enjoy your weekend.</p>
<p>Gerard</p>
<p><b><i>“Live for yourself and you will live in vain; Live for others, and you will live again.” ― Bob Marley</i></b></p>With understanding comes peacetag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2012-01-20:2028109:BlogPost:901802012-01-20T12:00:00.000ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIan
<p>A 12 year old boy who had recently been discharged from a children’s home continued to receive support from the institution. He was invited to attend activities during the weekends. Unfortunately on one weekend, he was told by some children there that his 11 year old girlfriend who was still residing in the Home was bad mouthing his family. The boy was livid but he could not find an opportunity to confront or clarify the matter with his girlfriend. The information ate into him and the…</p>
<p>A 12 year old boy who had recently been discharged from a children’s home continued to receive support from the institution. He was invited to attend activities during the weekends. Unfortunately on one weekend, he was told by some children there that his 11 year old girlfriend who was still residing in the Home was bad mouthing his family. The boy was livid but he could not find an opportunity to confront or clarify the matter with his girlfriend. The information ate into him and the moment he reached home, he ran down to the internet café and posted a string of derogatory remarks and a threat to harm his girlfriend on his Facebook wall. A few days later his girlfriend mentioned this to her guardians at the Children’s Home and a police report was filed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When we contacted the police, they were supportive of our intention to resolve the issue through an Understanding Circle. What they really wanted was to see the 12 year old boy and his girlfriend learning to behave appropriately. So in cooperation with the Children’s Home, we arranged for a meeting we call an Understanding Circle. The purpose being for all parties concerned to gain an understanding of the incident that had affected them. The hope is that with understanding comes a peaceful resolution. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Understanding Circle was attended by the boy, his mother and her boyfriend, 3 siblings who were yet to be discharged from the Home, his girlfriend who was supported by her social worker and another staff member of the Home. Only one person was allowed to speak at a time and the person speaking had to be holding the talking piece. The family chose a soft toy as the talking piece and the conversation proceeded as agreed. It was the first experience for the family in a Circle but they understood the ground rules immediately. They participated respectfully and treated the talking piece with much care. After a round, we learnt that although the circumstances that brought about the Circle were not pleasant, mother deeply valued the opportunity to be sitting and talking in the same room with all her children. She regarded the opportunity to be a special gift as the talking piece was a soft toy of an animal considered sacred in her culture.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After the girlfriend spoke, the Circle agreed that it was a misunderstanding and she did not bad mouth the family. She also said that when she saw the Facebook posting she was a little scared but she did not feel threatened as she believed her boyfriend would not have hurt her. Though only 11, she put the incident in perspective. The boy’s 10 year old brother was quiet but when he spoke, he told his elder brother the Facebook posting was a mistake. To close the Circle, everyone said something positive about the 12 year old boy. Most expressed a hope that he would not get into more trouble. After the Circle dispersed, the 12 year old boy told us that when his younger brother asked “Who taught you to do such a stupid thing?” it hit him hard. At that point, he realized that he had been a poor role model for someone who had always looked up to him. He told himself then that he needed to do better.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This Sunday, families welcoming the Year of the Dragon will do so with a reunion dinner. May you always experience family reunions as a special gift.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gong Xi Fa Cai, Xin Nian Kuai Le</p>
<p>Gerard</p>
<p><b><i>“Heroes take journeys, confront dragons, and discover the treasure of their true selves.”</i></b></p>
<p><b><i>Carol Lynn Pearson</i></b></p>We contribute space for discussion, reflection and actiontag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2012-01-13:2028109:BlogPost:892632012-01-13T02:00:00.000ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIan
<p>"You contributed the space for people to discuss, to reflect and to act. Intangible maybe but invaluable!” Jean Louis Lamboray commented after reading my lasr post. Space and time are 2 very important gifts we can give and definitely, 2 very important resources we need to do our work. Space and time are often in shortage when young people are deemed to be putting themselves or others at risk of harm. For instance, a 9 year old boy who is attending school 3 out of 5 days a week is deemed…</p>
<p>"You contributed the space for people to discuss, to reflect and to act. Intangible maybe but invaluable!” Jean Louis Lamboray commented after reading my lasr post. Space and time are 2 very important gifts we can give and definitely, 2 very important resources we need to do our work. Space and time are often in shortage when young people are deemed to be putting themselves or others at risk of harm. For instance, a 9 year old boy who is attending school 3 out of 5 days a week is deemed to be putting himself at risk of delinquency but supporting his family to address the issue takes time. So in the interest of speed, we take charge and as a result “steal” the problem away from the family. Soon after we will observe that neither the family or the boy believes that not going to school is a problem. We will also observe that we are not very effective in resolving the problem.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A few days before last year ended, we facilitated a meeting with 8 youths and 7 adults, some of whom were the parents of the youths. It was a group that had been meeting regularly since June 2010 and every time a meeting was called, they would come enthusiastically. Through a series of meetings, this group had articulated a dream for a better neighbourhood and we called everyone together to keep the conversation going. We reaffirmed them that they had a very positive dream and wondered which 3 aspects of it would they consider to be the most important. A vigorous discussion followed and it came down to 1. Education, 2. Building leaders in the neighbourhood and 3. A larger stage for them to showcase their talents. They then split into 3 groups to further discuss each of these priorities.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>On a scale of 1 to 5, the group discussing education assessed that their level of education was currently at 2 and within the next 2 to 3 years, they would like to rate themselves at 3. We then asked them how they were going to get to 3 and the youths filled up 2 large sheets of paper listing action steps like “parents discussing child’s progress with teachers” and “parents supervising homework” A parent who was in the group could not really believe what she was seeing and challenged the youths if they were just writing the ‘correct’ answers. “Don’t you always hate it when your parents ask you about your homework?” she asked. The youth writing the notes replied calmly “Yes but if we really want to do better in our studies, this must be the way.” From the youth’s tone of voice, we were convinced that it was not a ‘clever’ response but a sincere one. This group of youths were taking responsibility for their education and taking steps to overcome the challenges they faced.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The sight of people helping themselves is one of the most rewarding experiences and it happens if we do not “steal” people’s problems but learn to give them the space to discuss, reflect and act. Intangible maybe but invaluable.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Enjoy your weekend.</p>
<p>Gerard</p>
<p><b><i>Our industrialised large scale society is not one with too many internal conflicts. It is one with too little. Conflicts might kill, but too little of them might paralyse. – Nils Christie</i></b></p>Contributing nothingtag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2012-01-06:2028109:BlogPost:894392012-01-06T02:00:00.000ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIan
<p>In the midst of a bitter quarrel. a mother told her 5 children that they could leave her. The siblings aged from 12 to 20 years old took a few minutes to pack a few personal belongings and then left the flat together. When tempers cooled the following day, mother and a couple of the younger children called to inform us of the situation. We then contacted the eldest sibling and she told us that she wanted to discuss the situation with us. At the meeting we were most heartened that she…</p>
<p>In the midst of a bitter quarrel. a mother told her 5 children that they could leave her. The siblings aged from 12 to 20 years old took a few minutes to pack a few personal belongings and then left the flat together. When tempers cooled the following day, mother and a couple of the younger children called to inform us of the situation. We then contacted the eldest sibling and she told us that she wanted to discuss the situation with us. At the meeting we were most heartened that she took charge immediately. After elaborating what the quarrel was about she expressed that staying apart indefinitely would not be good for her mother or her younger siblings. She will bring the entire family together to talk things over but not before meeting her mother and her siblings separately. She arranged the meetings and asked us to accompany her as she found our presence comforting.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At the first meeting, this 20 year addressed 3 important issues with her mother. She discussed mom’s irregular employment, the lack of playtime for her 12 year old sibling and the bossy behaviour of mom’s boyfriend. We marvelled at the calm and authentic manner in which mother and daughter discussed these sensitive issues. We knew that If we were to simply mention these issues to mom, she would take it that we were blaming her somewhat and would aggressively defend herself. No meaningful conversation would have taken place as speaking to us would have meant washing dirty linen in public. The meeting between mother and daughter ended well with both agreeing to work at improving things.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Authenticity and sensibility also characterised the meeting among siblings. The main concern was the well-being of their youngest sibling and the consensus was that he should return home so that his school routine world not be affected. Eventually, the group agreed that the oldest 2 siblings will return home immediately with their youngest sibling to ensure that his needs will be attended to. The other 2 siblings will continue putting up with their grandmother until their eldest sister calls for a family meeting.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When I view the work described from the principle of helping people help themselves, this was excellent work. However, some people may ask me “If this was work, what was your contribution?” Well, in a sense we contributed nothing... nothing that took away this family’s ability and capacity to love and care for each of its members.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Happy New Year!</p>
<p>Gerard</p>
<p><b><i>A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say we did it ourselves. – Lao Tzu</i></b></p>It is really not how much we give or do but how we give and dotag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2011-12-30:2028109:BlogPost:884722011-12-30T08:02:54.000ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIan
<p>I was outside a train station on a very cold day waiting for a friend to pick me up in his car when I noticed a young person about 18 years old approaching different people asking for a dollar. It was a well rehearsed line about needing a ticket home but as no one bought it. Just as I was hoping that she won’t come to me, she did. I only had a five dollar note on me but decided that she probably needed it more than me. Five dollars was not such a big amount to give away but what deterred…</p>
<p>I was outside a train station on a very cold day waiting for a friend to pick me up in his car when I noticed a young person about 18 years old approaching different people asking for a dollar. It was a well rehearsed line about needing a ticket home but as no one bought it. Just as I was hoping that she won’t come to me, she did. I only had a five dollar note on me but decided that she probably needed it more than me. Five dollars was not such a big amount to give away but what deterred me a little was the thought that all those who had refused her were probably thinking what a sucker I was. Yes, obviously it was a con-job and I estimate that this young person made about $5 an hour with her routine. It was hard work though. I watched her approach a few other people with no success and after a few minutes, she came back to me to say thank you again and went into the train station.</p>
<p>I was a sucker but you must believe that I was a happy one otherwise it would have been a painful experience for me and it was not. Life is harsh for many around us and as we close the year, it is timely to reflect if the help we rendered did not actually make things worse. It is really not how much we give or do but how we give and do. The conditions we impose in “organised” help tend to reinforce in people a sense of failure. A question to ask is whether these people have really failed or has society failed them? I was told by a sociologist that I am a conservative to believe in family, community and society and the liberal view is for helping systems to replace their function. Hmm... always thought of myself as being a little more on the liberal side but if being conservative means preserving families, strengthening communities and bonding society, I will go with it. </p>
<p>Finally, whatever thoughts we may find in our reflections, let’s remember to be kind to ourselves because in the words of Rabindranath Tagore, “ If you shut the door to all errors, truth will be shut out.”</p>
<p>Wishing one and all a peaceful and meaningful year-end filled with the warmth of family and friends.</p>
<p>Gerard</p>
<p><b><i>Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add colour to my sunset sky. – Rabindranath Tagore</i></b></p>Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderfultag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2011-12-09:2028109:BlogPost:871552011-12-09T08:35:49.000ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIan
<p><span class="font-size-1" style="font-family: trebuchet ms,geneva;">4 children aged between 6 to 8 years old approached a colleague who was walking around a neighbourhood as part of his outreach efforts. They told him that they had something to show him and then led him to the ground floor lift landing of the block where they reside. There were pencil drawings on the walls and these children told our colleague that they knew exactly who did it. Before our colleague could actually comment,…</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms,geneva;" class="font-size-1">4 children aged between 6 to 8 years old approached a colleague who was walking around a neighbourhood as part of his outreach efforts. They told him that they had something to show him and then led him to the ground floor lift landing of the block where they reside. There were pencil drawings on the walls and these children told our colleague that they knew exactly who did it. Before our colleague could actually comment, these children told him that they will get the child responsible to clean off the drawings. Our colleague then followed the children as they visited the home of a 5 year old and explained to her care-givers what had happened. The children then asked for a few rags and a pail of water and together with the 5 year old returned to the lift landing to wipe off the pencil marks. Impressed by the children’s neighbourhood pride and their sense of social responsibility, our colleague felt that it was only right to lend a helping hand.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms,geneva;" class="font-size-1">Young children who move about their neighbourhoods independently are deemed to lack supervision and are at risk of falling onto the wrong side of the law. But for these children, it appears that their family and their community have taught them well. They were able to define what was inappropriate and more importantly, they had a gentle way of putting it right. We do not condone children being neglected but perhaps if we could see the inadequacies within a neighbourhood as gifts of a different kind, we would be able to appreciate and support their living environment in a way that develops their independence, sense of fair play and sense of belonging to their family and community. This perspective must of course be guided by the principle that “Children are not little adults; they are to be treated as children and not by adult standards.” </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms,geneva;" class="font-size-1">On the same afternoon at a different neighbourhood, another colleague had to watchfully keep the peace on a bus filled with boisterous children on the way to an Activity Centre for Senior Citizens. However once there, the children remembered the briefing we had given them earlier and they worked in the most cooperative fashion serving the elderly folks afternoon tea. We did not give them an incentive for doing so but we gave them the choice to join the activity as well as the opportunity and the trust that they would do a good job. It was a most enjoyable afternoon for all and the highlight being a set of songs rendered by our children. They were accompanied on the piano by a youth who had practiced hard to learn 3 songs as it was a personal challenge to perform on the piano at least once. Prior to challenging himself recently, he had never played a musical instrument.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms,geneva;" class="font-size-1">In our desire to be helpful, we often want to provide our service-users tangible gifts. This is necessary but we forget that the best things in life are free. Worse, we take away the valuable intangibles as we provide the tangibles. Then we wonder why we are so unappreciated even though we can quantify all that we have given. Over the past months I have had incidental conversations with service providers in the government and non government sector who are truthfully dedicated but terribly disappointed. Being good people, they simply shrug their shoulders and tell me that they must persevere until the service-users break away from their problems.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms,geneva;" class="font-size-1">This is the season of giving and what really needs to go into that stocking is a sincere smile, a listening ear and the conviction that those we serve are no less human than the rest of us and thus, no less deserving of respect. The best things in life are indeed free.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms,geneva;" class="font-size-1">Enjoy your weekend.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms,geneva;" class="font-size-1">Gerard</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms,geneva;" class="font-size-1"><b><i>Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful. - Annette Funicello</i></b></span></p>Passion like fire is a good servant but a bad mastertag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2011-11-11:2028109:BlogPost:894372011-11-11T02:00:00.000ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIan
<p>A couple of colleagues came back excitedly after a meeting with a community leader who had expressed her frustration at how things could be better done for the children in her neighbourhood. Our colleagues informed that this community leader was of the opinion that Beyond will probably do the job of looking after the kids well and asked us to present a proposal to her fellow committee members. Hence, our colleagues wanted to be helpful but after talking and thinking it through, they now…</p>
<p>A couple of colleagues came back excitedly after a meeting with a community leader who had expressed her frustration at how things could be better done for the children in her neighbourhood. Our colleagues informed that this community leader was of the opinion that Beyond will probably do the job of looking after the kids well and asked us to present a proposal to her fellow committee members. Hence, our colleagues wanted to be helpful but after talking and thinking it through, they now realise that if we presented this proposal we would have simply rub salt in the wounds of a group of community leaders who are already feeling rather discouraged with their efforts. Instead of strengthening our partnership with them and our presence in the community, we could have been making enemies of these leaders and our presence unwelcome. These days, it is common to see social work as services to plug the gaps in communities or in people’s lives. As service providers, we identify what is wrong and lacking and quickly go about implementing our services rationalising that we are healing the world. In our enthusiasm we believe that this must be the way to go without ever stopping to think whether this is what people really want or whether we are hurting rather than healing people. Passion like fire is a good servant but a bad master and the first thing about being a good servant is to recognise this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>We will now be going back to this community leader to explain that we share her concern for the children but are of the view that they may not have done as badly as they feel. We will listen to them attentively again and this time we are quite sure we will be able to identify the positive things they did and to explore how together, we can find solutions. We may connect her to resources but most importantly, we will share and learn together rather than to instruct and advise.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Enjoy your weekend.</p>
<p>Gerard</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b><i>“If you ask appreciative questions, the self confidence of the community will grow.”</i></b> <em><b>John Rwomushana, Uganda</b></em></p>
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<p>A mother of 3 whom we engaged to do some cleaning at our premises was pulling out the leaves from some branches we were going o dispose off. Curious, I asked her what she was doing and she explained that they were Henna leaves she could use to beautify her nails for Deepavali. “Henna? Isn’t that something for grey hair?” I asked and she said “Yes but you will have red hair if you use this.” We both laughed and I thought nothing more of the exchange. The next day when I met her again,…</p>
<p>A mother of 3 whom we engaged to do some cleaning at our premises was pulling out the leaves from some branches we were going o dispose off. Curious, I asked her what she was doing and she explained that they were Henna leaves she could use to beautify her nails for Deepavali. “Henna? Isn’t that something for grey hair?” I asked and she said “Yes but you will have red hair if you use this.” We both laughed and I thought nothing more of the exchange. The next day when I met her again, she passed me a small packet of henna shampoo which she had been keeping for some time. She told me that a friend gave it to her after returning from India and she wanted me to have it. Despite not having very much, this mother could still find a way to give in a helpful way. I could live with my grey hair but yet it nice to have darker hair even though it is only for a while J. It was a small gesture that warmed my heart and put a smile on my face. More importantly, it reminded me that a little thoughtfulness can indeed enhance the quality of life. </p>Moving toward community on a long boardtag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2011-10-07:2028109:BlogPost:891392011-10-07T01:30:00.000ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIan
<p><b>Instead of looking for <u>weaknesses</u> that we can <u>correct</u>, we begin to look for <u>strengths</u> that we can <u>support</u>.</b></p>
<p><b>Instead of looking for opportunities to <u>do</u> things <u>to</u> them or <u>for</u> them, we start to look at <u>how</u> we can <u>learn</u> from them.</b></p>
<p><b> </b></p>
<p>With these principles in mind, some volunteers and us brought together 6 youths and 13 adults who resided in the same block to “build a dream” for their…</p>
<p><b>Instead of looking for <u>weaknesses</u> that we can <u>correct</u>, we begin to look for <u>strengths</u> that we can <u>support</u>.</b></p>
<p><b>Instead of looking for opportunities to <u>do</u> things <u>to</u> them or <u>for</u> them, we start to look at <u>how</u> we can <u>learn</u> from them.</b></p>
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<p>With these principles in mind, some volunteers and us brought together 6 youths and 13 adults who resided in the same block to “build a dream” for their community. There were also 25 young children who were related to these participants that came to the meeting. We helped to supervise them while their care-givers were engaged in discussions. After the morning session, a couple of our volunteers commented that they found the 6 youths and 13 adults inspiring. For them, it is always a challenge to give a little time to their friends, loved ones or someone deserving of help but these people actually cared about the people in their neighbourhood. These volunteers then remarked that perhaps the primary purpose in life is to look out for each other.</p>
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<p>On the other hand, our 6 youths and 13 adults also drew much strength from the presence of these volunteers. A 19 year old youth commented that he could not believe that a banker, a management consultant and a bunch of social workers actually wanted to learn from him. He then shared that he felt very good that people listened with interest and respect when he talked about himself and his experiences This youth shared about how he dropped out of a vocational training programme because he was unhappy with the problems at home. He was discouraged and acted impulsively. Soon after, he got into trouble with the law but all that is behind him now as he finds much purpose and comfort being a part of this group that strives to improve their neighbourhood. He dreams of getting a long-boarding club going in the neighbourhood where he can pass on his skills.</p>
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<p>Long-boarding, an off-shoot of skateboarding may seem like a frivolous activity for the serious adult but it is also an activity where young people can shoulder responsibility. Often when entrusted with responsibility, one experiences life in more positive light. A single mother of 7 children shared that she was often very lonely and discouraged. Whenever she returned from a visit to an office dispensing ”welfare”, she felt even worst as she got a sense that the officers would have preferred not to see her. Some months ago when she was alone at the void deck taking a break from her children, it dawned on her that the many children who were running around the void deck could be better cared for. More importantly, she believed that she could make a difference. She started befriending these children, talked to the youths and just about everyone who lived in her block. Soon her neighbours regarded her as their leader and they worked as a group to organise activities for themselves and the neighbourhood.</p>
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<p><b>If people in communities realize that they have the <u>confidence</u>, <u>opportunities</u> and the <u>voice to talk</u> with each other, then they can <u>do</u> things by <u>themselves.</u> If such, we will <u>not</u> be directing them or even guiding them, but <u>accompanying</u> them on their journey. When such, we will <u>learn</u> more <u>from</u> the people that we work with.</b></p>
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<p>Enjoy your weekend.</p>
<p>Gerard</p>The challenges that impede good work are found within ourselves.tag:aidscompetence.ning.com,2011-09-23:2028109:BlogPost:892572011-09-23T01:30:00.000ZGerard Ee Huck LIanhttps://aidscompetence.ning.com/profile/GerardEeHuckLIan
<p>“My daughter is quite rebellious. Maybe you can speak to her.” This mother then called out to her daughter who was in the room to meet us. We were in the neighbourhood persuading residents to help out with programmes for children who lived in the area. Upon gaining an understanding of Beyond’s work, she thought that her daughter could benefit from our programmes too. “Aiyah mom, I know these Beyond people!” the 18 year old blurted when she came out of the room. We could not recognise…</p>
<p>“My daughter is quite rebellious. Maybe you can speak to her.” This mother then called out to her daughter who was in the room to meet us. We were in the neighbourhood persuading residents to help out with programmes for children who lived in the area. Upon gaining an understanding of Beyond’s work, she thought that her daughter could benefit from our programmes too. “Aiyah mom, I know these Beyond people!” the 18 year old blurted when she came out of the room. We could not recognise her but she told us that she was in the Beautiful People Programme and she still remembers her “big sister” fondly. She then went back to her room and took out a folder and she proudly showed us the certificates and photos she received from Beyond. Her mother was not aware that her daughter had met us when she was institutionalised but was quietly relieved that her daughter had been participating in healthy social and education activities.</p>
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<p>This 18 year spoke to us warmly and even teased several of us by commenting that we were much slimmer when she first met us. It was really heartening to meet someone who appreciated her time with us. When we invited her to help us speak to the other residents, she agreed enthusiastically explaining that she wanted others to receive some of the programmes she had gotten from us. With her assistance we covered ground very quickly and perhaps the most helpful thing she did was to gather her friends around us at the lift landing and speaking to us like old friends. Residents who stepped out of their flat to see what was going on felt assured that their neighbours were familiar with us. Hence, they too warmly welcomed us when we approached them.</p>
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<p>After covering the whole block, this 18 year old shared that she was planning to get married next year. We were surprised but she confidently added that she was ready. Her confidence unnerved us somewhat and we did not quite know how to respond in a respectful and helpful way. Our colleagues who were around her at that point were all single and so in jest, they wondered aloud if she should give herself a little more time to have fun as a single. When I heard about this, I asked if we are aware of the reasons why she wanted to get married but I learnt that at that point, the best we could do was to highlight the option of remaining single a little longer.</p>
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<p>The regular response to news of marriage would be “Congratulations!” But, why was it that we were unable to say it? By not congratulating her, what would we have communicated to this 18 year old? Maybe despite our efforts at reaching out, we are not quite prepared to accept and appreciate what we would find. And when we don’t, will these people still believe us when we say that we value them? Or do we? Guess, we have lots to think about and this is an example where the challenges that impede good work are found within ourselves.</p>
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<p>Enjoy your weekend.</p>
<p>Gerard</p>
<p><b><i>The first and the best victory is to conquer self - Plato</i></b></p>